Hip Hop Forum

Original rhyme structure aaa-bbb-ccc, very effective. Not really feelin the hook but the verses were heart felt.
"Now i'm Still Hungry Starvin in Beast Mode
Live By Tha Street Code Cock Shells You Can Deep Throat
i Could Easily Add Ya Life To Tha List Of Tha Repo"

On some Tupac shit. Nice with the word play.

Def a solid drop imo..good imagery and best of all a very tight rhymscheme..this would be an easy audio to lay down....so DO IT!.haha...

my fave lines was when you brought the deeper inner termoil in the first person perspective..

Moms Said i Was A Bastard.. A Bad Kid i Never Had Shit
i Was Spastic A Young Boy Bein Raised By An Addict
Suffered Through Attacks And Fits Crack Had it's Grip
But i Still Got Loud 'Til My Face Met Tha Backs Of Fists
i Wished i Could Get Away As Stupid As it Seems
i Couldn't Fuckin Sleep i Was Fightin Off Lucilius Dreams


^^^nice ..imo..

Dope Drop TOYH

Mayne really heartfelt lines very nice imagery and the mutlies topped it off well as riggz said basic rhymescheme but very effective for your style i personally liked the hook not as much as the verses but it wasnt bad this could be a dope audio

favourite part

"As A Youth There Was Noone To View My Pain
Snorted Pills 'Til Budeprion Was Shootin Through My Veins
With Discomfort i Check Back To Tha Necks Of My Youth
i Was Marchin Wreckless in Troops 'Til My Neck Hit Tha Noose
Moms Said i Was A Bastard.. A Bad Kid i Never Had Shit
i Was Spastic A Young Boy Bein Raised By An Addict"

but all of it was dope

Shit is ill man,

Lyrics are real deep and the flow is on point, I would bump this shit if it was recorded; nice drop.

K

Aigh, this wasn't bad at alkl kid!!

i actually sort of felt it for the most part!! 1 of yah better pieces!!

bump!

With A Nine in Hand i Could Easily Bang Myself

^^lol at the double meaning to this


anyways i enjoyed the piece man very fascinating drop as far as the rhymescheme, flow and the overall atmosphere u brought along with it.


Suffered Through Attacks And Fits Crack Had it's Grip
But i Still Got Loud 'Til My Face Met Tha Backs Of Fists

liked that a lot

ur getting better dude

shits def deep dawg I got a few lines I like on dis drop whole things is dope but these stood out 2 me da most homie

(i Wished i Could Get Away As Stupid As it Seems
i Couldn't Fuckin Sleep i Was Fightin Off Lucilius Dreams)

could relate 2 dat


(it's Hard After You've Witnessed Tha Mess
Then You Realise Tha Livin Are Blessed
Sometimes i Contemplate Pressin Tha Tip To My Chest
With A Nine in Hand i Could Easily Bang Myself
Tha Ropes Of Life Too Short Or i'd Hang Myself)

shit is mad wicked dis is dope drop i read it as u was pourin out ur pain in the verse and da hook is ill as well dunno y Riggz wasn't feelin' it cuz I liked it

-- 01 Jan 2010 04:28 --

u need 2 record dis one cuz it's dope I enjoy readin' shit like dis would like 2 see it in the Chamber

Drop Was Nice except you STOLE that hook from hollywood undead's "Circles"...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxMfZg3p1YM

alright i liked this hate....

love when its a concept bout ya real life...deep lyrics and flow was on point would love to hear this in audio..

again props becuz i write a lot of shit like this...we should collab sometime...

return the favore on my battle wit 360

wow homie. You could feel that thing with you.

i Was Runnin in Circles..
i Hurt Myself Just To Find My Purpose..
Everything's So Worthless..
i Don't Deserve This.. At Tha Same Time
it Seems Like This Life is Perfect...


Woord? that shit goes In lmfao.



Who's To Say it Was You To Blame
As A Youth There Was Noone To View My Pain
Snorted Pills 'Til Budeprion Was Shootin Through My Veins
With Discomfort i Check Back To Tha Necks Of My Youth
i Was Marchin Wreckless in Troops 'Til My Neck Hit Tha Noose


You just weaved this shit together soo Raw My Nigga, damn you elevated Lmfao.

Moms Said i Was A Bastard.. A Bad Kid i Never Had Shit
i Was Spastic A Young Boy Bein Raised By An Addict

Going in Again .. Deep.


Suffered Through Attacks And Fits Crack Had it's Grip
But i Still Got Loud 'Til My Face Met Tha Backs Of Fists
i Wished i Could Get Away As Stupid As it Seems
i Couldn't Fuckin Sleep i Was Fightin Off Lucilius Dreams

Feeling That my nigga .. soo On point With the Multis so Far.



i Was New On Tha Block New To Tha Scene
A New View And A Scheme Money Was New in My Dreams
Started Pushin Weight And Even Had Feuds With Tha Fiends
Some Say Tha Shits Absurd But Dont Twist My Words
At Tha Age Of Twelve i Was Pitchin Birds


Uhhhh... my homie Killed it.


Now i'm Still Hungry Starvin in Beast Mode
Live By Tha Street Code Cock Shells You Can Deep Throat

Lmfao


i Could Easily Add Ya Life To Tha List Of Tha Repo
They Say Ya Can Pull Tha Wisdom From Wise
But i Always Come Up Short So i Rather Listen To Lies
Sometimes Tha Missin Despised Try Relivin Their Lives
it's Hard After You've Witnessed Tha Mess
Then You Realise Tha Livin Are Blessed


This the kind of shit that touches a persons Soul.
that Real shit thats just written ill.



Sometimes i Contemplate Pressin Tha Tip To My Chest
With A Nine in Hand i Could Easily Bang Myself
Tha Ropes Of Life Too Short Or i'd Hang Myself

Woord? ..good Play nigga


i Still Cant Change Myself Even With A Range Of Help
When Solitude Creeps in i'm Even Woke While i'm Sleepin
Death Constantly Evoked While i'm Speakin

Lmfao feeling This.


Now i'm Tryin To Recollect My Thoughts
is it Really Worth All Tha Stress That i've Brought?..


Word. This shit was deep homie

10/10. Flow was on point , plays was on Point, Multis was Stringed Nice, n The verses were Weaved Together Nicely.. felt the chorus.

Had that Gutta ass Feel To it, me n u sorta got Similar styles lol we been Spitting with each otha since before illest nigga N it Was Straight Cyphers Lmao.


10/10. Good shit

this shit was pretty sick man... LOVE the dark feel of it... thats the type of shit i usually end up doin... cause u can relate more to pain then anything else... in ANY genre of music... it was hella lyrical i can see ur gettin better with the way you work ur multies n such... my fav line...

"Now i'm Still Hungry Starvin in Beast Mode
Live By Tha Street Code Cock Shells You Can Deep Throat
i Could Easily Add Ya Life To Tha List Of Tha Repo
They Say Ya Can Pull Tha Wisdom From Wise
But i Always Come Up Short So i Rather Listen To Lies
Sometimes Tha Missin Despised Try Relivin Their Lives
it's Hard After You've Witnessed Tha Mess
Then You Realise Tha Livin Are Blessed
Sometimes i Contemplate Pressin Tha Tip To My Chest"

dope drop man give this a

9/10

keep up the good work man...

-MenaCe- wrote:Drop Was Nice except you STOLE that hook from hollywood undead's "Circles"...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxMfZg3p1YM

its too bad Hollywood Undead sucks ass...

Suffered Through Attacks And Fits Crack Had it's Grip
But i Still Got Loud 'Til My Face Met Tha Backs Of Fists
i Wished i Could Get Away As Stupid As it Seems
i Couldn't Fuckin Sleep i Was Fightin Off Lucilius Dreams
^^^^^^^this part was dope

the whole thing was purdy good to tell you the truth
suprised I missed it
then again I haven't been in here that often
nonetheless a very dope drop!

keep writing!