Hip Hop Forum

Not relaly much rereading and editing, just kinda typed whatever came to mind. I might add more if you guys feel it. There many be some mistakes time was limited fore me.

Good Morning Mr. C, I seen we've gotten
pretty close, though I wish you were now forgotten
the devastation you've dealt is eatin' me alive
I try to bar you out, still it seems you're deep inside
some souls tend to shelter you at a new expense
but what you do to them is foreseen in future tense
but others don't deserve, still you have the nerve
to make the course of their life take a sudden curve
life changer, you’ve never been a pleasant stranger
puttin’ people in apparent clear and present danger
you took the lifes of many, though there's survivors plenny (plenty)
Hold on let me try to think of a few,
This should be easy cause all the time I'm thinkin' of you
and every death has had the utmost the relevance too
So many have will go and will be gone for certain
But it’s fine, cause in the end you’ve made me a stronger person


The subject may be obvious, may not be, and there may be some mistakes, time for writing was limited for me.

No need to point out the mistakes since it's obvious this was a quick one and done...Felt the flow... stayed on the subject, you actually could've made this into a sorta riddle? At the end, make us guess what the subject matter was about. huh? huh? I come up with a few don't i?

It was heart felt for a quicky Mass.

Riggz wrote:you actually could've made this into a sorta riddle?

Done.


Thanks for the feed.

I get it lol. But I won't ruin it for others. Its fairly obvious though if you pay attention. Good stuff, though. Nice flow, multies were good. I like how the message was a little bit subliminal, but yet out in the open at the same time. Nice touch.

yup i def felt the flow; however not the best i've read from you! still 70% better than the average scrip tho!

up

flow was good...tho one thing confuses me you say Mr.C then you write about taken life's and its somthing inside and limited time for you...dude it sounds like cancer???wtf??? and then you say it made you stronger person??

so if you write us lil more maybe we will see it clearly

I was feeling this, a very potent piece
I'm feeling the concept and the vibe
it's deep man this is a definite piece that deserves the love, keep writing!