Hip Hop Forum

16 Bars.

Punchlines
Wordplay
Nameplay
Multis
Flow
Entertainment
Creativity


No Flipping..
Due Soon..lol

-- Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:46 pm --

im sick of his frontin so witness me crush em, destroy the dudes fiction n dust em
this is strictly bussiness shit cousin, and in the game? lets face it, ambition is nothin..
i got an addiction ta thumpin kickin n punchin pussies whos lines scream BITCH in abundance
my sick diction'll stump em, give em the spins like some wicked percussion
as tough as he tries ta be? id still drop em with "one round" like the sickest of gunmen
hes in a terminal condition n bustin, like fuckin aids attacked em'
ur seein precises rage in action, with lyrics thatll jump off the page n smack em
he wont escape the rappin, his scripts come up short.. like some shit an asians packin
someones gotta cage this has bin..
dudes menstrating, called me out n i was thinkin shit.. the pens waiting
threw punches, but the "prick never connected".. sorta like his history of net dating(BAHA)
whys the pest hating...
these lines have steady been taming kids
i hate reading his bars, hes always stretching n straining quips
so really hes just feining sick, basically fakin it
beating me is gonna be his "final fantasy" like some gaming shit
he could rep in the worst neighborhoods with crazy spits..
still? his shits never found "up on blocks" sorta like the lamest whips!
time to get real personal...
ill phase em quick, grab a hurse n find dude
hes the only kid ive ever met.. who rides a beat even worse than i do!
what the fuck man, i thought u were supposed to elevate!
accelerate, seriously, record some better tapes..
ur shits hardly impressive.. its neither smart er agressive
id say ur goin nowhere, but thats only part of the message
ur monotone n emotionless spittin, like one of dahmers confessions
im heartless n wreckless, theyll find ur carcass in wreckage
ill turn em to a martyr in seconds n cut his armor to sections
kids who survive me r sparce in percentage, to prove yourself? find me in a mosh n spit
hows it feel, uve been officially called a bitch, act so hard but man, ur dodgin quix!
inspiring kids like u? pacs in a fit, ur diluting dope lines like droppin rocks inta fifths

This was a very good battle guys..good read. lets break it down bar for bar!


AMBITION


i'm Burning Ya Tie's,Bowzo Your So So male Version Of Jojo
See Concern In ya Eyes, Show yo Ho-mo side like its Promo

its a so so opener, wasnt really hard but the flow is set

Pre Determined Ta Die Like a fetus in Darfor,Jesus you Start
War? That Contradicts Past Stories Where You Only Conquered

the multis seem a lil forced if i was reading it to match the first bar's flow 'conquered' is just too far from 'start war', it seems to be going somewhere from here though..

Dick & Gag'd Glory,See This like Shark shores,Monster Shit
That Gory,I Gotta Do It but I Shouldn't..Fuck It i Said i
Wouldn't I'ma Kill This 'Can Head like i'm jealous i Couldn't!

i put this together cuz the two lines didnt go anywhere without the next line..its alot of fillers,
the can head punch was cool.

Murder This Cocky Nigga The Rest Ass Sore Cause They Rest
As For..Me I'ma Destroy a Piece Of E Ville Like The X Task Force

flow was pretty well set here, smooth.

i'll Noose ya if you Tug Me,U Don't Love Football But Kiss The Rug B..
i'll Give it Ta ya like I Fix The Druggies,The Fibs is Ugly
This Caucasian 'Gangsta' Coming Up Short like Pics of Bugzee..

Nice punch, took three lines to set up though again.

Came Here with Double But Wasn't Real With The Chick,
True As a Nun With Sealing Ya Lips,

lol

u Thought ya Bars would impress N Get Chu Laid
Look At It Either Way she Wasn't Feeling Ya Shit ..

ehh its a personal with a good flow to it but not strong..

i'm Pursue With Storms Till Dude Is Torn,a Angel Of Death
That'll Fuse His Horns Up His Ass For Lubeless Porn..

kinda not relevant..an angel of death that'll put horns up his ass? lol kinda weird

i'll Knock U Off Point Precise So U Battling Me's a contradiction
Like Anubus Born,I'm Not a Boring Quix i Dn't Tell Toy Stories
But u Look Like Woodie In Human Form..

nice nameplay on the first line, with a random punch to someone outside of battle, the toy story play on was really well done.

If You Got Cha Sound On The Scan Kids Would Drown In ya Land
End Up Pussy If Down With ya Plan,
Collab'd With ya Like Females are Supreme,Ur Voice 2 High To Sound Like a Man ..

hmm doesnt really grammatically make sense.. but idk if that matters, i just didnt feel this bar, multis are there though.

Law Hater's My Bars Fire Cases,Judge Up To Standard
Your a Bug'd Fuck With Cancer Chew Jaw Breakers With Barb Wire Braces

alright. vivid.. just choppy flow..

You've Entered The Red Zone You Can Keep The Clearance,
It's Apparent You Here To Take a Seat & Meet Ya Parent..
Viral Talking 2 Plex Like u Needa 'Cut Cise' Maintain Neat Appearence

ok, personal, flow is either off or very difficult to catch at this part.

Mos Def's a Beast you Use Common Flow At Best
You Came A Long Way But i gotta JERONIMO! ya Steps
They Say The Young Shall Lead The Teacher 'DOMINO EFFECT..

the closer was ok. i wouldnt like it as ur closer though.


overall haz, i can tell u had lots of ideas for this battle punchwise, a personal would jump out randomly here and there too and that was cool. Idk if you listen to a beat when u write cuz the flow kinda switches up a little and threw me as i read on. Some punches took more than 2 lines to connect so it kinda brings back that topic of "whats a bar?" in my head..and i didnt like that very much. some deliveries and hits only took one bar, but i prefer that over the three.. it just gets stretched with either multi fillers or too many personals in such few lines. ur getting better though..keep battling.



PRECISE


im sick of his frontin so witness me crush em, destroy the dudes fiction n dust em
this is strictly bussiness shit cousin, and in the game? lets face it, ambition is nothin..

multis are a little more complex but at the same time a little played out here

i got an addiction ta thumpin kickin n punchin pussies whos lines scream BITCH in abundance
my sick diction'll stump em, give em the spins like some wicked percussion
as tough as he tries ta be? id still drop em with "one round" like the sickest of gunmen

the multis are off the wall at this point, good continuation just lack of hard connecting hits
3 lines..booo

hes in a terminal condition n bustin, like fuckin aids attacked em'
ur seein precises rage in action, with lyrics thatll jump off the page n smack em

nice. funny n witty punch

he wont escape the rappin, his scripts come up short.. like some shit an asians packin
someones gotta cage this has bin..

played punch imo but funny first line. u shudve switched it..

dudes menstrating, called me out n i was thinkin shit.. the pens waiting
threw punches, but the "prick never connected".. sorta like his history of net dating(BAHA)
whys the pest hating...

you added a random filler in the end which took away from the delivery from bar above it. i think u were just cutting the lines in half to make 16 lol i like the net dating punch tho lol

these lines have steady been taming kids
i hate reading his bars, hes always stretching n straining quips

good personal

so really hes just feining sick, basically fakin it
beating me is gonna be his "final fantasy" like some gaming shit

dope wordplay, havent heard it.

he could rep in the worst neighborhoods with crazy spits..
still? his shits never found "up on blocks" sorta like the lamest whips!

ahh nice

time to get real personal...
ill phase em quick, grab a hurse n find dude
hes the only kid ive ever met.. who rides a beat even worse than i do!

this was my fave bar from u, "if im embarrassin me im embarrassin u!!" type of punch. very funny.

what the fuck man, i thought u were supposed to elevate!
accelerate, seriously, record some better tapes..

ok.

ur shits hardly impressive.. its neither smart er agressive
id say ur goin nowhere, but thats only part of the message

blah not feelin it.

ur monotone n emotionless spittin, like one of dahmers confessions
im heartless n wreckless, theyll find ur carcass in wreckage
ill turn em to a martyr in seconds n cut his armor to sections

multis fell off bad here. eww pretty much all filler here.

kids who survive me r sparce in percentage, to prove yourself? find me in a mosh n spit
hows it feel, uve been officially called a bitch, act so hard but man, ur dodgin quix!
inspiring kids like u? pacs in a fit, ur diluting dope lines like droppin rocks inta fifths

killer close though. hard hitting personal, good multis, very nice ending.



precise, i obviously enjoyed ur multis a lot more because our style of writing kinda leans on that a bit similarly, but creativity deffo came more from Hazard. you're verse had more fillers that haz which is a minus, but urs was a bit wittier as to hazards seemed like he wanted to hurt u more personally lol
i really didnt like the 3 line bars, it stretched the shit too much. This was a long and tiring break dow, but worth the time as the verse that won imo is Precise's. it was very close but Haz's was bouncing around in different directions way too much for me to like more than a straight forward verse pointed against the opponent. Haz was very creative and but I believe a better close would have gotten him the edge. it was too close.. good shit guys.

vote precise.

Props On The Break Down.

Thanks for the vote

1-0 Precise.

MVGT Percise because his verse was better both had yall up's and dones buh percise was actually battling Ambtion was actually more dissing than anything no wha im saying.

Personals: P
Punches: P
Metas: P
Creativity: P
Enjoyment: P
Flow: Ambitions

not really^^ lol

I'm not going to take up a whole page like Arv, neither will I dumb it down like Joey. I will say that Amb, a lot of your lines were missing all together (ie "Dick & Gag'd Glory,See This like Shark shores,Monster Shit
That Gory,I Gotta Do It but I Shouldn't..Fuck It i Said i
Wouldn't I'ma Kill This 'Can Head like i'm jealous i Couldn't!") just couldn't figure out what the hell you were saying there man.. sorry (no need to explain it for me either)

Precise was just that "Precise". He stayed on the topic of battling you directly (for the most part), his multies were simple yet direct with enjoyable punches like "hes in a terminal condition n bustin, like fuckin aids attacked em'
ur seein precises rage in action, with lyrics thatll jump off the page n smack em"

I'm impressed that both you guys battled 16 bars with multies and punches.. not an easy task for the average writer.

vote = Precise

3-0 ko

-updated and closed-