Hip Hop Forum

Somethin aint right, i fell to far when i tripped
in the night darkness had blocked the glow of moon light
my freedo to move has been reduced,knee deep in liquid slimey juice,
i cant see my own hands but the pain isnt too bad , dont know how long its been but i know i long for the lonliness to end , will i ever see
another face again , cause id give my right eye to hear from
even my fakest friend, surrounded, engulfed, entrapped
down so long forgot what feedom was, gettin hard to even want it back, my own brain full of tricks an traps, my own shadow teases me with fears
of human contact, will i even have the will to react, reachin for a hand but ive swatted them all away,
the light pulls me toward, but my eyes want me to stay
im not ready to be rescued not today , ive become accustomed
no im afraid, of the only that can save my life the word change, so i close my eyes and embrace the hands that deliver me ,
im cold and naked hungry and shivering

This was nice visual wise...I felt it tho'
nice metaphor for life, structure through me off a bit
plus a couple parts you typed to close together

my freedo to move has been reduced,knee deep in liquid slimey juice
^^^^That had me go back n read it again...I was like huh?

I usually don't like doin' that but otherwise this was a good piece...just needs some work, don't worry my dude you'll be droppin' better lyrics sooner or later!