Hip Hop Forum

I liked it up until the last two bars. The first one because the second line didn't seem to flow along with the rest of it and the last bar didn't seem to say anything. Aside from that though, I liked it.


http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/resul ... 14575.html

very dope the mutlies was nice the constant rhyme pattern as he said about me the last bar which strayed a lil bit but overall this was a nice piece shoulda been longer

look out for the Haz & Mutual collab in a couple days

i Know This is A Subject Every Writer Has Touched
But Sometimes i Break Weed Just in Spite Of Tha Dutch
i Still Haven't Found A Pill My Lighter Cant Crush
Snortin Coke, That's Great, Have Ya Ever Tried Fightin Tha Rush


Lmfao... Funny as Hell n Nicely put.


i Got Fiends Hidin Rock Quicker Than Weapons Concealed
And They Take Tha Time To Ask if Tha Wesson is Real?
Crack Aint A Joke Holmes Tha Shit'll Rot Ya Brain
Just A Body in A Box Undertakers Will Drop Ya Frame

Woord. Multis On Point


if Tha Shit's Not insane Just Smoke Some Meth it'll Block Tha Pain
X? So What i've Tried Tha Shit And it's Not Tha Same
Just Mix Bakin Soda And Coke You Can Watch Tha Rock Thicken
Eyes Widen As Tha Plot Glistens You Even Forget About Shit That's Not Missin
i've Tried My Hardest And Still Cant Write With Weed
Why Would i Do Drugs? That's Just Tha Fuckin Life i Lead


Damn .. u Went In. I just liked the Greezy dmx Crackhead/ Lord feel you Brought

Keep droppin homie

i Know This is A Subject Every Writer Has Touched
But Sometimes i Break Weed Just in Spite Of Tha Dutch
i Still Haven't Found A Pill My Lighter Cant Crush
Snortin Coke, That's Great, Have Ya Ever Tried Fightin Tha Rush
i Got Fiends Hidin Rock Quicker Than Weapons Concealed
And They Take Tha Time To Ask if Tha Wesson is Real?
Crack Aint A Joke Holmes Tha Shit'll Rot Ya Brain
Just A Body in A Box Undertakers Will Drop Ya Frame
if Tha Shit's Not insane Just Smoke Some Meth it'll Block Tha Pain
X? So What i've Tried Tha Shit And it's Not Tha Same
Just Mix Bakin Soda And Coke You Can Watch Tha Rock Thicken
Eyes Widen As Tha Plot Glistens You Even Forget About Shit That's Not Missin
i've Tried My Hardest And Still Cant Write With Weed
Why Would i Do Drugs? That's Just Tha Fuckin Life i Lead

decent little verse here. as always the flow and multis were on point. the last bars seemed to rhyme fine to me. i thought you coulda added a bit more complexity to it but it was cool for what it was...speakin your mind and no bullshit lol

ThaOneYouHate wrote:Just Another Quick Key...

i Know This is A Subject Every Writer Has Touched
But Sometimes i Break Weed Just in Spite Of Tha Dutch

Nice

i Still Haven't Found A Pill My Lighter Cant Crush
Snortin Coke, That's Great, Have Ya Ever Tried Fightin Tha Rush

One of my favorite bars from the drop.

i Got Fiends Hidin Rock Quicker Than Weapons Concealed
And They Take Tha Time To Ask if Tha Wesson is Real?

Nice.

Crack Aint A Joke Holmes Tha Shit'll Rot Ya Brain
Just A Body in A Box Undertakers Will Drop Ya Frame

Cool.

if Tha Shit's Not insane Just Smoke Some Meth it'll Block Tha Pain
X? So What i've Tried Tha Shit And it's Not Tha Same

Good lines.

Just Mix Bakin Soda And Coke You Can Watch Tha Rock Thicken
Eyes Widen As Tha Plot Glistens You Even Forget About Shit That's Not Missin

Alright.

i've Tried My Hardest And Still Cant Write With Weed
Why Would i Do Drugs? That's Just Tha Fuckin Life i Lead

Decent.

Top Three Things I Liked

1. Flow, Multis

2. Transitions

3. The chances of most of this material being true. Lol.

Top Three Things I Didn't Like

1. The Topic, Slightly Generic

2. The simpler bars

3. In general. The lack of emotion for a topic about being an addict. You didn't really have many bars to express all the depths of your soul though.

Pretty good drop man. I'd like to see you go off for about 32 bars sometime with a crazy amount of energy.

Snortin Coke, That's Great, Have Ya Ever Tried Fightin Tha Rush
i Got Fiends Hidin Rock Quicker Than Weapons Concealed
And They Take Tha Time To Ask if Tha Wesson is Real?
Crack Aint A Joke Holmes Tha Shit'll Rot Ya Brain
^^^I felt that was dope how it came together

it was like dun dun duh duh like drums hittin' the beat
I was feelin it tho' keep writing tho' my dude
feeling the vibe thru me off with the color
had me squintin' round lol either way keep writing!

"i Got Fiends Hidin Rock Quicker Than Weapons Concealed
And They Take Tha Time To Ask if Tha Wesson is Real?" - Nice multi through out... last few lines were off flow a little, but other than that.. it was a nice simple multi structured rhyme scheme. Looks like you wrote it in the spur of the moment.