Hip Hop Forum

Emo-shit


Chronic depression affectin' my hedonic perspective
Demonic possession reflectin' my sardonic expressions
I wrote a check for more blessings, it bounced, got rejected
I expect nothing less cuz my accounts been neglected
Obsessed with cigarettes, I don't deserve to die quickly
I'm at the point that just seeing happiness sickens me
I grit my teeth when I talk, kick my feet when i walk
thinking my grief is resolved, i pick a beat and go off
the pain doesn't dissolve, it stains my heart like ink marks
my brain's combustin' like cops knockin doors down with glocks
I'm shocked...that hope still clings to my mind
when time after time...nothing seems to go right
I put up a fight, but consistently life saps my strength
Strife wraps my brain like mice trapped by a snake
I can't escape, I'm at a loss at what to do
My flaws are more than a few and the cross is but a clue
At the debut of despair, I pursued avenues of prayer
But my long distance plan needs to be renewed and repaired
or maybe God doesn't care, or I'm consulting tale fairies
Religion needs the disclaimer: results may vary



one day i woke up and i put my smile in my pocket
but i checked the next day, and found out that i had lost it
i searched in the church, until i was exhausted
now my heart is so cold, it needs to be defrosted
and i never thought....that it would come to this
falling into an abyss, of confusion and hopelessness
and the existence...of a higher being, it doesn't help
if from a distance he dwells when for assistance i yell
til my persistence has paled in comparison to resignation
ive given up on trying to find the answers to these questions
life's a slippery slope, and i feel like i'm sledding
when like the ninja turtles rival, my brain is Shredding
my life needs a new title, it needs a brand new heading
for my survival it's vital, that i find a new setting
and i'm liable to explode, at any given time or place
driven by blind rage, it's like my mind's in a cage
and the key to open the lock, it's stored in the pen
and the combination is to pour out whats hidden within
til my writtens speak for themselves, my lyrics are my voice
others rejoice with their words, my spirit has no choice
i have to write...have to express whats inside
in distress im possessed by the stress that eats me alive
it leeches my energy, like worms in the dirt
and lesson's i learned at birth, have been burned of their worth
so it's like i'm on my own, perched in this hell on earth
Impelled by concern, i excel at dwelling on the worst
pessimism's my curse, my blessing's been reversed
cuz at first, my thirst for greatness spurred every verse
but now, all my words and every single meaning
have been transformed by others cuz of evil intervening
weaned off of others, now i have no one for leaning
lost the ability for dreaming, so i always feel like screaming
its like the stuff that i'm seeing, all others are blind to
im not another lying dude, im just a brother trying too
express....my....self

Obsessed with cigarettes, I don't deserve to die quickly
I'm at the point that just seeing happiness sickens me
I grit my teeth when I talk, kick my feet when i walk
thinking my grief is resolved, i pick a beat and go off
^^^^I'm feeling that
I myself fell the same way about certain things at times
so when I read this I was blown away

either way the flow was on point, kinda caught me off guard on some points.

but overall this really stuck out to me especially the end...keep writing my dude

Appreciate the feedback bro. Updated with verse 2.

"I grit my teeth when I talk, kick my feet when i walk
thinking my grief is resolved, i pick a beat and go off" -- hot damn that line was silly JJ. Very memorable line there...

Riggz

Thanks bro, in my opinion, whenever I have something real to write about the words seem to flow better as long as I'm not trying to force multi's where they shouldn't fit, but I think it's getting better.

vocab is off the hook on this nice multies but some are forced i liked the flow very nice piece here the concept was original and you did it well hope you drop more ish like this

Chronic depression affectin' my hedonic perspective
Demonic possession reflectin' my sardonic expressions
I wrote a check for more blessings, it bounced, got rejected
I expect nothing less cuz my accounts been neglected


FIRE.


I'm shocked...that hope still clings to my mind
when time after time...nothing seems to go right
I put up a fight, but consistently life saps my strength
Strife wraps my brain like mice trapped by a snake

Lmfao .. Loving it


I can't escape, I'm at a loss at what to do
My flaws are more than a few and the cross is but a clue
At the debut of despair, I pursued avenues of prayer

Liked Cross Into Prayer.

But my long distance plan needs to be renewed and repaired
or maybe God doesn't care, or I'm consulting tale fairies
Religion needs the disclaimer: results may vary

This was Straight Didnt Like the "fairies" After Tale. dunno.


Over This Shit was just Raw .. Liked It, From What i can See your a Pretty good Writer rhyme Schemes jump Around but mine do 2.


one day i woke up and i put my smile in my pocket
but i checked the next day, and found out that i had lost it
i searched in the church, until i was exhausted
now my heart is so cold, it needs to be defrosted

Everything Up To "defrosted" i was Feeling homie


and i never thought....that it would come to this
falling into an abyss, of confusion and hopelessness
and the existence...of a higher being, it doesn't help
if from a distance he dwells when for assistance i yell
til my persistence has paled in comparison to resignation

Everything Up to Paled i Liked, just didnt Like the Transition


ive given up on trying to find the answers to these questions
life's a slippery slope, and i feel like i'm sledding

Dope flow just Nice bar..

when like the ninja turtles rival, my brain is Shredding
my life needs a new title, it needs a brand new heading

Keep it goin.. Consistent Nice.

for my survival it's vital, that i find a new setting
and i'm liable to explode, at any given time or place
driven by blind rage, it's like my mind's in a cage

This shit was just written Right 2 Me .. Within The last few Clips i Posted you were Real Consistent

and the key to open the lock, it's stored in the pen
and the combination is to pour out whats hidden within
til my writtens speak for themselves, my lyrics are my voice
others rejoice with their words, my spirit has no choice
i have to write...have to express whats inside
in distress im possessed by the stress that eats me alive

At first i didn't Likek the voice/choice but i Read it over.. Shit just Went in Raw.. Liking the Vibe ..


it leeches my energy, like worms in the dirt
and lesson's i learned at birth, have been burned of their worth
so it's like i'm on my own, perched in this hell on earth
Impelled by concern, i excel at dwelling on the worst
pessimism's my curse, my blessing's been reversed

Didnt Like this , it was off in my opinion, didnt Fit.


, now i have no one for leaning
lost the ability for dreaming, so i always feel like screaming
its like the stuff that i'm seeing, all others are blind to
im not another lying dude, im just a brother trying too
express....my....self


OOOOW!! ... Lmfao Liked The end.

i Liked this cause it Reminded Me of Budden dunno if u Listen 2 um but Shit was raw.. Keep Droppin

Preciate the feed, I'ma try and write more "real-ish" stuff as oppose to just punch lines in the future.