Hip Hop Forum

This is some quick shit written to the beat from "Run This Town"- Jay-z, Kanye and Rihanna, I might edit in the third verse when its finished

It was all a dream, i woke up and started writin'
its like rollin' dice when your lookin for the light
and you might give every night of your life to this fightin'
the mic is excitin', sorta like its invitin
a flight to the top but you cant buy a ticket
ill fight for the spot theres no chance i would miss it
a man im committed i got plans to be different
ill do it on my own fuck demands i dont listen
you say stand then im sittin' with a motherfuckin grin
bring ruckus to an end, clutchin' nothin but a pen
i make history and shine thanks for givin me your time
I feel like stewie griffin yellin' victory is mine

Rihanna Chorus


Ima run this town like the shit was a marathon
hittin this like barry bonds, hiphop is alive
its tradition i will carry on, take it on my back
for as long as it takes, ill wait for it to snap
and im gone when it breaks, but im faithful to this rap
i belong in my place so im stayin where im at
the top is my spot and ill say it its a fact
no i aint playin im lacein' razorblades up in my tracks
so yo wake up and react all you people its a movement
if you real then you feel that its deeper than this music
so easily confusin' it seems to me we're loosin'
the game is fucked up and it needs to see improvement





its the spirit n the passion you hear it when im rappin
fuck appealin to the masses wit appearances and fashion
i stay bringin shit that these lyricists are lackin
be me on a track? now thats fearlessness in action
im stearin n im passin its clear that ill be crashin
this aim for the fame well i feel its everlastin'
i walk in the steps or the shadows of the greats
im tryna steal the light so im rappin at this pace
it shudve had me on my face but my gravitys erased
so i fly like im high and that has to be the case
i keep pushin on through the hardest of the weather
i will hold inside my pride n just swallow it forever
ill go farther cuz im better yes im smarter and im clever
plus im hot enough that i could spark shit in december
an artist from the center but my heart is like my temper
its starts when i remember, that home that was broken
im numb to the pain its a zone no emotion
alone and im smokin, my flows and im focused,
a little bit of practice now behold what was hopeless
my level is a pedistile, i hope that you notice
cuz if skills were pills you aint close to my dosage

Damn . I love your shit man,

my fave textcees on illest have to be

1. Complex
2. jhaze
3. Ruckus


(in no particlar order)

Anyways , Im waitin for that third verse man

Not a bad drop man..keep em comin

thanks for the feed theres that third verse to it

Fuck Haze, that drop was pure dope fam. Almost everything right on point. I'll make sure I don't miss any of ya shit from here on out. Keep droppin fire.


-$aw

thanks yall, last up

Ill. By far the best piece that I have read from you.

1st verse = First few lines were great.

2nd verse = A few mishaps in the rhyme scheme prevented this verse from being excellent

3rd verse = Deserves a break down.

-------------------------------------

its the spirit n the passion you hear it when im rappin
fuck appealin to the masses wit appearances and fashion
i stay bringin shit that these lyricists are lackin
be me on a track? now thats fearlessness in action

Brilliant rhyming, great points

im stearin n im passin its clear that ill be crashin
this aim for the fame well i feel its everlastin'
i walk in the steps or the shadows of the greats
im tryna steal the light so im rappin at this pace

I like how you didn't use the rhymes as a crutch, but kept a certain pattern to keep the flow.

it shudve had me on my face but my gravitys erased
so i fly like im high and that has to be the case

Creative

i keep pushin on through the hardest of the weather
i will hold inside my pride n just swallow it forever
ill go farther cuz im better yes im smarter and im clever
plus im hot enough that i could spark shit in december

Plus I'm cold enough that I can pop bacardi in December. I'm just saying!

an artist from the center but my heart is like my temper
its starts when i remember, that home that was broken
im numb to the pain its a zone no emotion
alone and im smokin, my flows and im focused,
a little bit of practice now behold what was hopeless

One of my personal favorite rhyme schemes.

my level is a pedistile, i hope that you notice
cuz if skills were pills you aint close to my dosage

Decent Closer

Overall. I think that you have a bit more to prove on this site. This track went a long way in establishing your lyrical tendencies. Good job. When ever you want to do a collab, hit me up.

thanks alot man, and yea a collab would be dope

Heh, not bad the first verse had some pretty good lines. The rhianna chorus was kind of off, but it proabably would've sounded better in audio I just couldn't picture rhianna rhyming like that lol. Last verse was ok just some improvements. Not bad though seeing as you wrote it quick.