Hip Hop Forum

yo, hey, wat up kid, tough life huh
well are you winnin, cause a win is a loss to(huh?)
one, see, even that term is to mean your out
i'm uh tell you nigga, don't ever leave out

keep winnin, stop trippin but stay in your own spot
rock the world but stand like a rock
stay on top yo, have the mind on the gwop
cause even if your at the bottom you could still drop

(put a key on me, who got me on lock)
no one, that's right! take all shots
no vest, obsession for the naked
grab a fuckin pussy,start cravin

we men, (hahaha) and you better remember that
if not, walk straight like a dead black cat
mind confused, well do that to others
aint none other nogga was your mother

name EX, sorry for not introducin
well, good luck kid, start poducin
......just a few words
more like a rap
more like a whisper
watev...just listin kid.........

Ah, there's really no way to say this without sounding like an asshole... For one, the shit was pretty short and really didn't even portray anything about you "growin up". There were a couple good messages in this piece though. The rhymes were terribly basic and bland, almost boring... Dr. Suess has dropped more complex rhyme schemes than this. Also, it seemed like you were spitting this in a way where you were having a conversation with someone else, but really didn't do that good of a job executing that. Overall, there is a lot of room for improvement. Just don't let a little constructive criticism deflate your hopes. Stick around, try to learn a thing or two, and elevate.

On a side note... who started using that word gwop/gwap/whatever the fuck it is. God, that shit's annoying.

Word^^. Explicit you need to elevate homie..

Ruckus wrote:Ah, there's really no way to say this without sounding like an asshole... Dr. Suess has dropped more complex rhyme schemes than this.

haha so much for bein an Asshole haha...

LOL...

i wrote the bars and just put a title, really this wasn't a story or having a conversation.
i got bored and did a couple bars. title could of ben wat up

keep writin bro just try to put a little more time and effort into it, i realize u prolly didnt try too hard on this but then this is the kind of feedback u have to expect