Hip Hop Forum

as my jaw drops I drew a scream, my palms got full of steam
fear fought off da joy music brings, my babys mom now has a eulogy
dis feels like wen applaud stops, I kno da audience is using me
my thoughts brought amusing things, i wanna mute these dreams
never got a marriage, or a carriage, just left alone embarassed
did salem leave me in his will and everything of his I inherit?
This place is a prison where I hide behind tattoo tears
Born a black sheep hating myself and running from mirriors
Im trapped, forced to interact with that feeling I cannot grasp
in a world where I cannot adapt, in-slaved under their command

kinda sullen ...read like a poem to me ..

flowed well ... good read


pccce

Nice. Pretty Simple But Complex at The Same Time. Flow Was a Bit Choppy On a Couple Lines But That Doesn't Really Bother Me.

dis feels like wen applaud stops, I kno da audience is using me <- interesting Perspective.

Im trapped, forced to interact with that feeling I cannot grasp
in a world where I cannot adapt, in-slaved under their command <- Strong Ending, Especially The 1st Line in That Bar, Props.

i Liked How u Set The Scene With The 1st Line, That's Always Essential in a Drop Like This, And u Managed To Touch On Topics And Summarize Which is Always Better Than Going Off On a Tangent Lol. Scheme Was Good, Was as Long as it Needed To Be. Keep Droppin.

Yeah This Would Of A Been A Dope Poem. That Ending Stood Out Like Black Girls With Blonde Hair Over All This Was A Good Piece My Dude, Well Done. Keep Dropping Bruddah

thanx for the feed