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Mental Disease

Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 3:42 pm
by eMCee Havic
yo,

i've got a mental disease a lack of simple symphathy
trapt in a bad situation like the frontline infantries
weed helps me instantly but leaves my mind-drained
grew up in a broken family and watched the times-change
bitches play their mind-games but i get deeper-than-that
been dwellin on the death of music an the reaper-is-back
try an be a speaker-of-facts but the lies eat-at-my-soul
feelin down and findin out its hard to keep-at-my-goals
feelings deep-an-not-whole like i lost half-of-my-heart
cant find my emotions like they were stashed-in-the-dark
first to come an last-to-depart like alcoholics-in-bars
can't speak my mind out right so i put knoweledge-in-barres
in solice-i-starve a cliche' artist but so-different
i throw words like track shot puts but at a pro's-distance
in a flowed-sentence i release all of my inner-demons
they say a criminal is crooked well this sinners-leanin
in a dimmer-evenin a winnin-heathen rises-from-the-dust
had an dark epiphany one day and relized-that-im-corrupt
i'm sizing-to-erupt had enough of this mental-stress
tired of havin remorse and always smellin the scent-of-death
is there any temples-left cause i'm praying-for-change
don't know how to feel it myself so i'm relaying-my-pain
but i'm stayin-insane trying to figure out this-struggle
trying to build my self up but in an instance shit-crumbles
and amoungst the mixed-rubble i find my self stuck fucked
and less-humble


uppin for feed please, it'll sure to be returned

Re: Mental Disease

Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:07 pm
by - Mutual -
woo the mutlies was pretty good a couple forced here an there a lil bit of complexity to a deeper meaning but nothin that sticks out mainly flowed pretty well u do need to work on ya rhyme change overs tho cus thats when the flow seems to slow down for you

i've got a mental disease a lack of simple symphathy
trapt in a bad situation like the frontline infantries
weed helps me instantly but leaves my mind-drained
grew up in a broken family and watched the times-change
bitches play their mind-games but i get deeper-than-that
been dwellin on the death of music an the reaper-is-back

dope lines mayne great opener
you really did well in this piece so congrats on that dude
keep'em comin

Re: Mental Disease

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 4:41 am
by eMCee Havic
thanks mutual, uppin

Re: Mental Disease

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:00 am
by The Gonz
This shit's pretty good. The multies were nice, the flow was great. Nice little message in there. Not too complex, which I like, but some decent imagery. Solid drop. I think you've elevated a lot from what I remember.

Re: Mental Disease

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 6:17 am
by K KiLLaH
one of ur best drops keep it coming amazing flow ur structure was on point like insanely on point keep it coming

Re: Mental Disease

Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 8:01 am
by eMCee Havic
still uppin on this piece