Hip Hop Forum

this is my verse from another day which can be heard in the creation chamber

another day in paradise..... guns knives an cyanide
wake up wid tiered eyes..... the world rights are flying bye
say see ya later......... to the peace an the harmony
i need a strap on my hip.... to keep the theifs from harming me
Its barmy beef that seems to lead to all the teeny stabbings
im partially miffed ... . . about all the greedy grabbings
and im havin such a hard time tryna stop it happnin
so im rappin on this track to try ta stop the cats packin
a mac in the back sack,capped for the next jackin
the box were livin ins so close to fuckin snappin
the worlds mappin out our route with out permission
gods lookin down on me disputin my position
as a human, Where the fucks my rights nowadays
crimes gettin paid and im raged tryna make a wage

another day in paradise..... guns knives an cyanide
wake up wid tiered eyes..... the world rights are flying bye
say see ya later......... to the peace an the harmony

gods lookin down on me disputin my position
as a human, Where the fucks my rights nowadays
crimes gettin paid and im raged tryna make a wage

that shit was pretty dope the beginnin was ill kid

nice shit, flow was on point, as well as demonstrating a nice use of multies, some of them came across a lil forced, but for the most part the shit was executed nicely, good verse.

cheers for the feedback there lads appreciate it safe..