Hip Hop Forum

this is a track I did in november,
\first verse is in spanish and the second is in english....one of my homies added the effects,, tell me yall honest opinion..
oh n the last verse is silent lol, I didnt write one

EN LA TIERRA DE MEXICO VIVE LA MUERT3
LA CELEBRAMOS CON TODA NUESTRA GENTE
NO TENGAS MIEDO QUE ALGUN DIA VENDRA POR TI
AUNQUE NO ESTES LISTO, NADA MAS DILE QUE SI
VENTE, VAMOS AL DEMONIO
ES DONDE VAMOS TODOS YO SUPONGO
NADIE ES TAN BUENO, QUE LLEGA AL CIELO
NO ES TU DECISIÓN, PORQUE ESO YA ESTA PUESTO
NO ODIES PORQUE TE VA PEOR
NO ES BUEN IDEA GUARDAR RENCOR
DEJAME EN PAZ O EN PAZ DESCANSARAS
EN PAZ, LA VERDAD, CREO QUE JAMAS
SOY KA-PAZ DE ROBAR TU VIDA
DE SEGURO QUE EL YA NO LA NECESITA
PURAS MENTIRAS QUE ESTA VIVIENDO
CREO QUE EL CEMENTERIO, LE FALTA UN ORNAMENTO
DIME LO QUE SIENTES EN TU MENTE
FRIO Y EL DOLOR, LA COSA ES URGENTE
, LO SIENTO EN SOLO VERTE

IN THE SEWERS OF MEXICO THEY ARE WATCHING
EVERY STEP YOU TAKE, WHERE YOU STOPPING
NEVER LOOK BACK, AND IF YOU TAKE A BAD STEP
IT'S THE END FOR YOU, SO OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

IN THE SEWERS OF MEXICO THEY ARE CREEPING
THE FEED OFF………. YOUR HEARTS BEATING
NEVER WALK ALONE, AND IF YOUR HOME
ON YOUR ROOF YOU CAN HEAR THEM MOAN

I can hear them from afar, they always been there
Mad at me, becauseâ€

IMO, not really feelin this joint homie ... didnt understad tha 1st verse, so im not gonna dop my 2cents on that. but on tha hook, i wasnt feelin how u stopped then started talkin/spittin again. n yaverse souded more like u was talkin instead of spittin. also u stopped a cple times ta git bak on beat, i think? i dunno but try spittin wat u write in rythem doggy, n try throwin in emotion instead of effects too. n i f u see u gotta gap in wat u wrote, try ta fill it in wit wrds instead of pausin....
hope that helps.
~1~
PtathaZ

this was kinda a remake of an other artists song, and thats how he did it