Hip Hop Forum

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im zanny over zealous infact im fuckin crazy
unremorseful like hookers who be flushin babies
nothin lately has made me any less cynical
abusing chemicles to keep blood flowin in my ventricles
everything is identicle lil waynes n 50 cents
give me sense not some jibberish put in the present tense
i dont need your centiments rap is common knowledge
but polished its intense leavin wackness abolished
and in solice the dopest stay ever flagrent
in the basement bangin beats to shake the pavement
sick and impatient not hating but damn its gotta change
a lot of thangs are fucked up makin these thoughts insane
a rotten brain filled with alot of wasted brain cells
but i remain held even tho the game is ordained hell
and as for the pain well... this chronic numbs it well enough
but i've felt the touch of the devil and well were fucked...

...damn


feed please

hey man..new on this board..

was this a key? if so then not bad..some good concepts in there but not executed that well like..

unremorseful like hookers who be flushin babies

great concept but you need to word it better man..fix up on your vocab

everything is identicle lil waynes n 50 cents
give me sense not some jibberish put in the present tense

like this concpet but poorly put across..

a rotten brain filled with alot of wasted brain cells

i really like this..

and as for the pain well... this chronic numbs it well enough
but i've felt the touch of the devil and well were fucked...

i dont like the end way too simple for me..needs to be punched up with a bit of wordplay

overall, as i said if this was on the fly and just any old key then great job..reads alright

but the verse is simple and lacks any originality or wordplay at all..try to flip some concepts i a more original way..also try and use multis and interbar rhyme to enhance the flow, also PLEASE correct your spelling, it doesnt take long and it can really damage the peice when stuff isnt spelt right

anyway im new here so my views might not be valid?! gonna drop a key now my first in years so check that out

peaace!!

im zanny over zealous infact im fuckin crazy
unremorseful like hookers who be flushin babies
nothin lately has made me any less cynical
abusing chemicles to keep blood flowin in my ventricles
everything is identicle lil waynes n 50 cents
give me sense not some jibberish put in the present tense

LMAO!...

That Part Was Bananas In My Opinion.. The Flow Was Beautiful...
Multi's Were On Point... N Just Potent Ass Lines.. Good Substance..

The Otha Half Was Str8 Homie...
But This Clip I Pointed Out Was Just Fire ...

Keep Droppin Mod!..

thanks for the feed. any yeah this was a keystyle.

uppin for some more feed