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Just a song i did with MH.
Dont have his lyrics
got mine tho
Tell me if you noticed nething bout my verses

i wake up with emptiness inside//
these walls are caving in on my pride//
and i cant stand to look in the mirror//
because nothing seems any clearer//
i ask for u back and u throw it in my face//
now my life is black and i feel disgraced//
i cant deal with this hole in my heart//
and u go on and tear that apart//
17 months is a chunk of time for me//
i know that we were meant to be//
and you go ahead and toss me aside//
and now im waking up empty inside//

and now i wake up empty inside..
AND NOW I WOKE UP EMPTY INSIDE!!

i understand what ur going thru//
trust me ive been there too//
but sometimes u need help to go on//
but u insist that i should be gone//
but im not giving up,im not gonna quit//
im gonna continue to take this shit//
i never stuck to anything in my life//
but now im trying to make u my wife//
i never cut my wrists but i kiss this blade//
taking a 1000 fists right into my brain//
i have the sweet taste of Death on my lips//
and now im sittin here taking this shit//

And now im sittin here takin this shit..
AND NOW IM NO LONGER TAKING THIS SHIT!!

I'm not going to lie to you man, I didn't like this at all. Your flow was a little off, the quality wasn't very good, the dude on the second verse sounded like a robot, and the beat kind of annoyed me. Yes, I know I'm being a little harsh, but I'm just being honest.

Just work on structuring your bars a little better, so your not constantly slowing down to fill up empty space. And even though it wasn't expressed very well, I could still feel the emotion in the song, which is good. Next time just try bringing that out a little more.

Just keep practicing and take your time with everything, and you'll eventually see some improvements.

Anyways, keep droppin.

thanks
i tried to bring it outt
but my flow wouldnt alow me too
and like i dk
i tried to switch it up
thats why i did the Double Ups on some part
to emphasize it

bu tthanks

Upping!

i agree with ODK.

it has potential to be a really good track, you just need to tighten up a bit. some of it sounded a little forced. some things just didn't rhyme and i think you put them in to get your emotion across. which don't get me wrong you did get emotion across.

a little more work and i reckon this could be a really good track.

keep working though. look forward to hearing some more

thanks fo the feed on this track
yeah Dead ya verse is quite good
nice flow with the emotion keep the feed comin guys

i actually like this fam, flow has gotten a lot better emotion was there though the delivery needs work, and i thought your vocals were a tad too low...
Mutual Hostility, you need to work on your flow, delivery etc. your lyrics are straight though, actually pretty good...

thanks KG i'm a keep gettin practise in
all feed preciated
keep it comin

There's not much that I can add that hasn't already been stated above.

But the only problems that remain are the same ones that I've pointed out to you individually on previous drops in recent weeks.

Just work on the flow, delivery and mixing.
In addition...
...Dead Silence...I like how you tried to use double-ups in place of word emphasis. Nice try...keep experimenting.

uhh ... i dont know what to say guy's..it's better than the last, but
it's still not hot..

the hook concept seems cool and the beats pretty cool but..damn guys
no hate but..sorrry but it's almost unbearable..

at this point you listen to enough music to know what good delivery
and presence sounds like..if you wanna be taken seriously you not
only should work on it but, also be more critical of yourself..
seriously it sounds like your playin around to me..

dead you probably would make a decent producer if your slappin these beats
together...but ya delivery is off..

and mutual your transfering too often..steady ya self.....

thanks for the feed.
and Kurse
u think when i want double ups i should do what i did?

and my main point around this song was the emotion
i could find a flow to fit it
this was the best i could do

but every song i lay out isnt trying to be a main streamer
usually every song i try to focus on one thing
whether its emotion
lyrics
experimenting
working on hooks
mixing

im doing it because its a hobby not a career
im not trying to make a life outta this
im just doing it for fun so why waste my time trying to be the best if
its not gonna get me anywhere down the road
its a hobby that i like to do

maybe later ill try a main streamer but not now
i wanna work on other shit
get my life together and when i have time to
set up a real kind of studio
get a real studio quality mic
than ill work on that main streamer

thats just my ethics

oh btw tru
i dont make my own beats i download em

i hear sum of what you sayin DS..but when i say be takin seriously
i aint talkin about mainstream..i'm literally mean me takin you tryin to make a heartfelt song seriously...why try to be the best? uhhmm
i'm talkin about elevatin your game..not you bein the best..

and im just sayin ..if your gonna put it out there for someone
else to give feedback..and you know it doesnt sound that great...

expect people to point the flaws out...and DS if ya not tryin to
get better why am i wastin my time tryin to give you feedback all the time?

thanks for the feed Tre & Kurse