Hip Hop Forum

Shit happened with me and my GF (now ex gf)
so i made this song
my part was a free style
and mutal is at the end
he plays the role as my gf like
her thoughts inside her head
dk if that makes sense
but enjoy



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Mutal

we dating 17 months n u threw it in my face an the lies
i shoulda knew u were a disgrace when u looked into my eyes
i give u the chance to reply to the rumors but u just walk on by
like nothin goings on but it is dood u sit in ya room gettin high
if u were too pay me any attention u would know sad
gettin out from the hospital first words i hear they make me mad
i didnt know what we had together in the past was the best
i go into hospital n not too long you on some hookers breast
u think i gotta trust issue put yaself up to the light n get beat
cus if i remmeber correctly u were the first to go n cheat
with sum lil bitch becuase u couldnt deny the lies r the truth
thats why u hide in your booth to scared to face up the proof
i dunno why i ever let u loose cus u belong in hell dead bright this shit
let out of my sight for one moment i'd prolly find u in the red light district
i got a couple witnesses that tell me not rumors but what really happened
thinkin u could do what u want well now see when ure abandoned

please feed!
will feed back

That's The Worst Shit Ever Dawg, On a Subject Matter So Sensitive You Can't Just Put It Out There Unless Your Tight In Every Aspect.
Lyrics Was a Piece a Shit,
Production Was a Piece Of Shit,
Mutual Hostility Was a.........You Already Know,
That Usher Shit Didn't Help At All.
I'm Sorry But Let Me Be The First To Rate Your Track 2/10

Even Though It's a Freestyle (So You Say But I Hear A Punch In At 1:26) The Emotion, Or "Swagger" Wasn't There That Would Have Made Up For Those Non Rhymes, Or "Wack Shit".

It's More Than Just Rhymes.
I Know You Don't Think Of Your Self As a Professional.

in hindsight this wasnty great Dead
i dunno what it is but that Usher thing didnt seem to fit in now
uhm i thought ya verse was aiight
my verse well it was dope lol nah but it wasnt bad as such
my reocrdin was terrible i dunno lol
but Petrafyne ure statin to really FUCK ME OFF
u treatin everybody like they shud be as good as u or sum shyt
an it's really annoyin me give constructive critisism
not piece of shyt this an pience of shit that
okay
keep'em comin Dead

im Gnna Agree With Petrafyne This Was a Piece Of Shit To Be Fair.

The MAIN REASON Being Dead's Monotonous Voice, There Was No Character. it Was Like u Were Reading a Nursery Rhyme To a Kid, if u Know What i Mean. (Like For Example; One Two Freddy's Coming For u, Three Four Shit i Can't Remember The Next Part), But u Know What im Saying Right? Do u Know How Tedious That is To Listen To On a Track? And The Lyrics Were So Unoriginal, u Said So Much Yet Never Really Put a Point Across. Love? u Are a Year Younger Than Me, i Don't Give a Fuck What u Say u Donno What Love is Yet, ur Hormones Are Still in The Wild Zone.

My Advice To u is To Practice ur Flow, i Mean u Stayed On Beat But at The Cost Of Sounding Like Stephen Hawking. Pay Attention To How ur Favourite Rappers Present Themselves, Don't Throw Forced Changes Of Tone in ur Voice Either it Sounds Terrible, Randomly Making ur Voice Higher Or Lower Pitched at Parts Does Not Count as Emotion. Be Natural, Pretend This Wasn't a Track And instead u Were Just SAYING This Shit To ur Ex, To Her Face, Tone Will Come a Lot More Naturally.

Mutual i Seriously Donno Wtf ur Verse Was About, And Quit Hiding ur Welsh Accent Arite Meannn ur The Onlee Geh in Thu Villaaaahhhhge. And Don't Say it Won't Sound Right Because What ur Gnna Have To Do is Go That Extra Mile To Make ur Accent More Presentable To Any Listeners (Exaggeration On ur Vowels, Enunciation). Don't Fucking Mumble Either, Do u Know Any Old People Who Have Trouble Hearing? Think About How u Talk To Them, And Apply it To ur Audio.

Keep Dropping.

work on yah shit fellaz....this SUCKED!

lol im glad someone else notices mutual`s puting on an accent.
i remember your first track i said the same thing and nobody agreed. at least im not trippin then. anyway i`ll give the track feed next time im on

lol im glad someone else notices mutual`s puting on an accent.
i remember your first track i said the same thing and nobody agreed. at least im not trippin then. anyway i`ll give the track feed next time im on

- Mutual Hostility - wrote: but Petrafyne ure statin to really FUCK ME OFF
u treatin everybody like they shud be as good as u or sum shyt
an it's really annoyin me give constructive critisism
not piece of shyt this an pience of shit that
okay

That Was Constructive Criticism, Tell Me If I Didn't Just Influence You To Do Better Shit?

If You Can't Handle That Your In The Wrong Game Playa.

Domino wrote:im Gnna Agree With Petrafyne This Was a Piece Of Shit To Be Fair.

The MAIN REASON Being Dead's Monotonous Voice, There Was No Character. it Was Like u Were Reading a Nursery Rhyme To a Kid, if u Know What i Mean. (Like For Example; One Two Freddy's Coming For u, Three Four Shit i Can't Remember The Next Part), But u Know What im Saying Right? Do u Know How Tedious That is To Listen To On a Track? And The Lyrics Were So Unoriginal, u Said So Much Yet Never Really Put a Point Across. Love? u Are a Year Younger Than Me, i Don't Give a Fuck What u Say u Donno What Love is Yet, ur Hormones Are Still in The Wild Zone.

My Advice To u is To Practice ur Flow, i Mean u Stayed On Beat But at The Cost Of Sounding Like Stephen Hawking. Pay Attention To How ur Favourite Rappers Present Themselves, Don't Throw Forced Changes Of Tone in ur Voice Either it Sounds Terrible, Randomly Making ur Voice Higher Or Lower Pitched at Parts Does Not Count as Emotion. Be Natural, Pretend This Wasn't a Track And instead u Were Just SAYING This Shit To ur Ex, To Her Face, Tone Will Come a Lot More Naturally.

Mutual i Seriously Donno Wtf ur Verse Was About, And Quit Hiding ur Welsh Accent Arite Meannn ur The Onlee Geh in Thu Villaaaahhhhge. And Don't Say it Won't Sound Right Because What ur Gnna Have To Do is Go That Extra Mile To Make ur Accent More Presentable To Any Listeners (Exaggeration On ur Vowels, Enunciation). Don't Fucking Mumble Either, Do u Know Any Old People Who Have Trouble Hearing? Think About How u Talk To Them, And Apply it To ur Audio.

Keep Dropping.

yeah i understand
but that shit does make sense like what u said at the end of ur overall veiw of me and mutal
but yeah it was just a whatever track
Tram. was suppose to be on it but he said hed do it sunday.LAST SUNDAY
and i planned on actually writin it out and practice when he got hes shit done
i knew it was whack
but i just laid it out there
and i dont even like my verse
i like mutals just because i know what perspective hes rappin from
because i explained it and alot of ppl dnt understand it

but the usher shit
it wasnt so much put there as a filler or to ride the track
it was put there because of the lyrics
listen to them
when hes saying u got it bad thats to me dawg
thats to me
thats the way i feel/t about it when i recorded it

like i said i knew it was whack
i planned on makin a way better track

but keep the feed comin

yeah... u guys really need to work on this... Mutual... verse was okay... but next time shorten it up... too many run ons... thats why the people think it sucked... Dead... dude... i'm sorry but u sound like Elmer Fudd rappin... and that usher verse... OMG... the beat doesn't even go with the way he was singin it... SO OFF... just work on it... and don't put that usher verse in it... EVER AGAIN!!!

3/10

did you not read my post?

Dead...

...remember when we talked a long time ago and we went over why you rap the way you do. and other certain things about yourself!? Why don't you speak up to these guys and tell them why you sound the way that you do!
Don't worry about anybody makin fun of you or anything...just be right on about who you are. I bet sum of them will then fell like ass once they no more about you kid...believe that.

i'm sure theres nothing u can do about ur speech impediment... but u still need some work br0... i ain't tryin to make fun of ya or nething... so no reason to get a hair up ya ass n get smart... but you need lots of help with ya tracks kid... theres been people in the music industry that have speech impediments... like there was a country super star that stuttered when he talked but didn't when he sang... even 50 cent with his jaw wired shut... he got over that... so did Kanye... if u keep workin at it and uppin ya tracks and stayin on point with the beat... then u'll be pretty dope... but i gotta be impressed dude...

so dead and mutual broke up?

^^^^ dude i ain't seen u in fuckin ages lol