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" No Goodbye "

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 8:06 am
by Brah-Vo
[align=center]Staring out a blackened window
My face unreflected
The rain resembles your broken tear drops
Delicate fingers that were brazen with work
Leaving the paint on your nails chipped and unmourned
The down light casts a forgiving shadow
And you speak of a proposition i refuse to accept
Left alone with a broken promise that keeps me company
But eats me up every now and then

How long was it since you've left?
I think i've forgotten your face
Familiar,but your features have changed
A picture i drew has been ripped apart
Old love notes you wrote with faded ink..
Hidden messages within the words
Now have been miconstrued
But memories have been etched into stone
And you whisper to the wind that all is well
The sound of your voice never left my ears
The song we liked, its number one on my top 25 most played
But everyone says it's old, so appreciation is gone
But i know we're not old, Together we're still 16.

Will you forget me?
Or does the thought of me still bug you?
I'll never leave you
Why should i? I haven't said goodbye yet.
I miss you so much
There's nothing else to it
I still feel the pain i felt when it happened
Everyone else said you were just a good person
But i knew you better than that
They don't even visit you anymore
You don't deserve that
And yes, even though memories have been etched into stone

You

You have been etched into my heart
I'll never forget you, okay?
Don't even think for a second that i will.
I promise to bring you flowers every day
Just so you know someone will always love you...[/align]

Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:24 pm
by Haz
I Liked This ...

Few Things Though ...

Some Of It i just Felt Wasnt Stringed Together Well...
Felt It Was 2 Long And The Concept Sort Of Died For Me If U Get What I'm Sayin
Doesnt Have To Be Short N Snappy.. But You Could Of Executed It Better
Good Work , Liked A Few Parts Alot..

Keep Droppin Man.

Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:59 am
by Glamtrash
This piece starts off really strong. You lose it a bit in the middle and don't completely gain it back by the end, albeit you're close. Remember, you always want your shit to end strong -- You want people to walk away thinking about the whole piece, and a solid ending will do that. This is definitely your calling though. Keep at it.