Hip Hop Forum

the virus



theres a virus that surrounds you
you see it every day
it live in our citys and towns
you probably know its names
it kills with out reason
takes but never gives away
it moves even when we're sleepin
you've probably even seen its face
the virus is highly contageous
u wouldn't know by looking at it
its highly deadly and dangerous
but its effects take time to notice
no one is safe from it reign
every child is born in to it
this virus that scientists can't explain
it has a mirror image
if you dont believe it go look in one
cuz this virus is you and me
what have our people done?



this was a freestyle poem, but i think it was dope


think about it, seriously

apreciate some feed

wun

I hate the way it's structured, but I like the concept. Could have used more metaphors, but nonetheless, you get the point across and make the reader think (once said reader had read it three or four times because of the horrible structure lol).

6/10 overall.

Good shit guy, keep droppin'.