Hip Hop Forum

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WAOOFk549fw

Lets Stay Together
........

Oh baby don't go.. even though you hurt me
firstly, i just want to let you know i aint worthy
you make me feel so good, any time of the day
feelin's so real, not a sign that its fake
a life with you, is a choice i've decided to make
stole for your touch, who says crime doesn't pay
my wife is gone...divorced the bitch
your love had me seein' i was forced to quit
fuck the kids, they're only four and six
if i never see em again, then that's jus' unfortunate
im willing to spend every second with you
paid for this by hockin' rings bespeckled with jewels
a fickle whore, so many other mens had her'
but after we connect, i know she'll never stray after
im singin' lets stay together forever
love that still holds up, even if the tethers are severed
the way i worked you, you'd become hot as hell
i know others fucked with you, jus' not as well
had other types before, but just wernt the same quality
gone from blacks n' mexicans but you come as pure as im wanni'n it
knowin' your there, stops me from freakin' out boo
and when your not there all i do is think about you
folks look disgusted, but fuck what appearences be
i dont care about that, she's a superhero to me
we close, people say we gon' die together
she can light up the room, any time, whevener
i get her in the bed, and then we get emotive
i feel the shock waves, shit starts to feel explosive
people jealous of us, sayin phony jokes
used to get mad when they said she'd hurt me.. but now im over do'se...

get it?...

re-read...

Dope. Started to lose its edge towards the end, but the flow was on point and consistent throughout. Lot of good lines too. Good shit!

Hmm ...
Im impressed. This piece just goes to show how much of a versatile writer you are. The flow was on point throughout but as ruckus said it fell off abit near the end.
Its not very often you see someone write about a girl but i give you props for this one.

this was pretty dope hadda nice flow good example of showin how versatile u can be maybe fell off a lil at the end but i didnt think it affected it in anyway but it's weird cus all the way thru i was thinkin ohh obviously a woman but the last couple of lines gave me the feeling u were speaking about a drug or sumin to that extent just my view dunno if thats what u was goin for but well dope read Mark
keep'em comin

DING DING DING!...

mutual cracks it..

"i dont care about that, she's a superhero to me"...

if you get that line.. you'll be able to read it and understand the concept.... she + hero =....

lol..

"the way i worked you, you'd become hot as hell
i know others fucked with you, jus' not as well "

That makes the story real. The awareness of the character was impressive throughout the piece.

He was willing to see his own mistakes and her mistakes. Yet he still wanted to be with her. Thats profound.

I'd give it an 8/10 because I loved the story. Obviously, it wasn't the most lyrical piece in the history of the scriptures, but still keeping it strong as you progress in your series. I'm not bored with it yet.

MagicMark wrote:DING DING DING!...

mutual cracks it..

"i dont care about that, she's a superhero to me"...

if you get that line.. you'll be able to read it and understand the concept.... she + hero =....

lol..

heroin pretty good mark look forward to readin the rest of the 'gorgeous' collection

thanks for the feed all..

im lookin' to know im complexity caught the hidden meaning
?...

come on dunnies..

this ish is clever as it comes.. and im convinced only mutual has caught the real meaning behind it.