Hip Hop Forum

new solo...peep da track...leave some feed....ill return da feed




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uppin

Your Best Track .

'Writers Block hits ya Like Cryptanite.'

My Favorite Line , The Flow Was Nice..
Meanin In The Lyrics Was Pretty Much There ,you Fell Off With Meanin Rarely.

Good Shit Viral i Was Feelin This Track Fam.

much appreciated man....people r slackin on feed today...mrah!..lol...upppinnn

dope beat deffo
i like that Bells Piano Collabo
has a dope effect
the Lyrics were pretty much fire
had feeling into it
ya flow was pretty dope with the beat
so good listen
keep'em comin

thanks for da feed...uppin

illy ill dawg..I'm feelin it concept everything..
yeah everybody else pretty much said it all..
Hott beat , dope flow I like change ups and transfers
in da pocket you did esp. on verse 1..
clear vocals...good shyt

i'll listen to it once for enjoyment then for criticsm...

yeah.. track was cool.. can't hate... a good listen..

feed:

first verse - first off, the beat is great choice, it works well, and should be easy to flow on, a good head nodder... your flow at the start is great, no faults, the lyrics at the start are a little sketchy... too simple imo... "breaking apaprt like a crumb, feel like scum, being dumb" etc.. just nothing making me say.. "yeah this track is gonna be fire".. ya dig?.. next lines where cool, i would have like you to hit back to this original rhymescheme.. its was like "replacing - lacin'... then a couple of ime-ine rhyme words.. i would have liked a line ender to be rhyming with "-ation".. so it woulda been... AABBA.. rhymsscheme, imo.. it would have sounded fresher and more professionall.. flow is good, but rhymes are simple.. some good concepts.. drowned again.. sound is just for you etc.. i can feel these ideas.. just the execution is lacking imo..

hook - hook is cool.. can't hate, catchy ish, lyrically its alright for a chorus.. and somes up the piece decently.

2nd verse - opening view lines are great.. flow is smooth, can't hate... then it goes into the simple rhymes again.. blood clots, stops, not.. etc.. its not that im looking you to go canibas style.. (broken nose, pokino's, smoken those, joke's n' foes, coke em' hoes, folks'll know etc).. even there not too complex.. just something better than the single word rhymescheme and if you going to use that.. make sure each thought/phrase/line.. packs a unique though, funny concept, heavy punch, interesting crituque etc... people use their multis to get a "oh damn" reaction, as well as from punches and flow, and when your lacking lyrically.. for Me, personally.. it dont add up too well.. closer was bad.. lyrically... simple as, and stupid as lol.. no offence.. this goes near babyish.. its like me hearing.. "write alot and you'll be great, or dont and be a poopy face^ (even that has a assaonance multi lol) thats what it sounding like to me.. that last line was..

"the time is gone where you can sit back and slack
if you do, you might as well dedicate your whole life to sniffing on crack"

can you see where im coming from... it barely makes a whole lot of sense.. your saying if you relax on your writing you may as well throw your whole life away.. its just a simple thought, delivered in an unoriginal way..

i would have flipped it like..

"the times over, for you to sit back and let ya mind sober
i 'chill' wit a "blaze".. till i think fire, n' my lines colder
slack now, you can back down, my shoes say what i feel
check ya 'soul', get in control, cause someone's always on your 'heel'"

etc.. lol.. get the idea.. bit of cleverness.. doesnt have to be liquid crack for an audio.. but still has to be intelligent..

overall - im being a lyrical nazi.. jus' because.. i want to see people get better, flow was aweseom, beat was awesome, the two worked well together. It was all edited well and the track was an easy listen.. just tighten up the lyrical side (in my opinion) and your on your way..

whered u get that beat? its nice

good flow, one of the simplest rhymeschemes ive heard u use but it turned out nice, good topic, feelin it man, great shit

appreciate da feed yall..specially magic marks 3 page essay!...lol...UPPIN!

pretty dope track, i'd agree with the rest of them..definitely ur best or one of ur best, i would have to take a second hear to this as oppose to "that one unreleased track of athiesm" lol but yea flow was good, i like the message being said

i can feel you on this, flow was hot, beat was too, lyrics were dope and consistent, good shit...

thanks for da feed yall..much appreciated...expect another track comin very soon..within the next day or two

i should say somethin negative about ya cuz itll be ok...ha FRESH! i was slackin on the feed, but the connection of rhyming and non rhyming scemes were linked to perfecto on this jawnt. wheres our album at? lol lets get it son!!!

thanks mayne...but wen u stop slackin..then we can get down..lol im in the studio everyday....i live here remember?..haha...so get ur ass over here...n we'll put shit together