Hip Hop Forum

This a song i wrote about/to my ex girlfriend named Swingset Love

Just me and u in the park yesterday
My mom was bugging so i came out and played
the bars were full, the slide was wet
everything was taken except the swingset
member how i use to play until it was dark
i only played cuz ya face had me at aw
Breatheless non-chestless beautiful queen
always knew you would fulfill every one of ur dreams
Especially about the one with me in of ya room
and ya daddy come home and beat me with a broom
ouch..
you are amazing
one kiss from you will drive twenty niggaz crazy
breaking all the rules just to get to you
i'm a gentleman that's what im suppose to do
Fly high as a bird that makes you my dove
i will never forget our swingset love

nice man, good read, i like the emotion, and the little humor... the style is there, just needs a little more overall originality...maybe an extension on the verse wouldve been nice because it wasnt bad, just it needs more depth imo .


good job man keep it up and youll only get better