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unspoken face

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:47 am
by Lucky D
So many reach for fame, and tears creep from strain/
Watchin' men bleed in vain, laid across seeds in rain/
Withered trees and grain, we teach appease tha pain/
Steadily seekin' reign, only for those who speak with feign/
These are tha truest thangs, really hard to explain/
Atrocities inhumane, only to sustain there true domain/
We are who to blame, for words spoken through disdain/
Considered in-sane, for thoughts that are too mundane/
Still I view tha same, only now I gotta go through chains/
Leavin' a broken cage, focused on enclosing rage/
These are tha worldly ways, paraphrased in tha book of praise/
You can look for days, end up in a crooked maze/
Grasp tha hook and chase, or begin to change your phase/
Start to set ablaze tha delays of today's essays/
Were still left in a haze, lost in a unknown place/
Unspoken face, with no hope left to be saved/

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:23 am
by Lucky D
no feed

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 7:52 am
by MagicMark
nice use of rhymescheme and multis... flow was solid.. subject matter was a little varied, but understandable with the rhyming as it was.. in some parts it felt a little forced to get the rhyme in, that would be my only complaint.. good piece..

Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:05 pm
by Lucky D
Thanks man appreciated