Page 1 of 1
.. Hustle, Hustle ..
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:07 pm
by Brah-Vo
Sag their Jeans to they knees
With a bandana rockin in their back pocket
Hustle hustle
but at the same time hopin their track rockets
To number one
What makes em gangsta? Coz they popped a few rounds?
Givin em wrong looks so they popped a few clowns?
Imma bring the thunder son, tear asunder blunts
Im the predator you the Hunted one ..
Thats all fake to me
It doesnt take a whole lotta Faith to See ..
God forsake this place
U feel safe coz u got cold steel on ya waist?
Dudes hidin their face, disgraced
They say death stalks us at every corner
Imagine mr Clause screamin a happy merry slaughter
Laughable at least, but they do the same
everyday when they strappin up the heat
But hes got a mouth of yellow teeth
Blood in his eyes, gotta survive
so His baby moms can make it out alive
She got dreams of makin it big .. A singer ..
Voice of an angel no doubt
But her boy be rappin bout evil ..
dudes stickin tools in her mouth
Shootin about, but what they packin aint lethal ..
To Otha dudes at Least ..
But now she cant sing when her dude produce a beat
All this to pay the rent ? Damn ..
Father told her to Pray and repent ..
But she hate it everytime she get on her Knees .
He's Cold, a Killer
But thats only the exterior
Inside in his mind He's Losin it
Losin his grasp of reality
Coz Lifes ruined it .
Gotta be big, gotta keep tough
Gotta keep strong, gotta get up .
All he really needed was a place to cry
But everytime his son come in his face was dry
No time for emotion, he gotta keep movin
while the peeps groovin, he sip on the potion
gotta go fast keep it on the double double ..
Coz all he doin now is
Hustle, Hustle .
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:25 pm
by Brah-Vo
ups.
really need feed on this .
Finna make it as close to epic as possible (hopefully)
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:12 pm
by Lotus
yo ima get at this tom... mad tired tonite, not rele tryna read shit lol
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 3:11 pm
by Haz
Sag their Jeans to they knees
With a bandana rockin in their back pocket
Hustle hustle
but at the same time hopin their track rockets
To number one
What makes em gangsta? Coz they popped a few rounds?
Givin em wrong looks so they popped a few clowns?
Imma bring the thunder son, tear asunder blunts
Im the predator you the Hunted one ..
lol Hopefully you Deliver This good When You Put It On To Audio...
Anyway's Kind of Basic... But The Way It tied Together was Coo...
The Flow was Straight you Just Have to Deliver That Right
lol Nothin Special About The Last Line but I Smirked.. I Liked It.
Thats all fake to me
It doesnt take a whole lotta Faith to See .. 2/5. Multi was There, Didn't Do much Though.
God forsake this place
U feel safe coz u got cold steel on ya waist?
Dudes hidin their face, disgraced ...1.5/5... Wasn't Feelin This..
They say death stalks us at every corner
Imagine mr Clause screamin a happy merry slaughter.. - 3/5.. lol Funny.
Laughable at least, but they do the same
everyday when they strappin up the heat - 1.5.. ( just a basic line)
But hes got a mouth of yellow teeth
Blood in his eyes, gotta survive
so His baby moms can make it out alive -2/5 Had More meanin inside it Then the Line before..
She got dreams of makin it big .. A singer ..
Voice of an angel no doubt
But her boy be rappin bout evil ..
dudes stickin tools in her mouth - Aiight...Why are They stickin tools in Her mouth?..Cause he's rappin About evil?..
Shootin about, but what they packin aint lethal ..
To Otha dudes at Least ..
But now she cant sing when her dude produce a beat - 2.5/5 I Liked the Multis
All this to pay the rent ? Damn ..
Father told her to Pray and repent ..
But she hate it everytime she get on her Knees .
- Didn't Like This endin Homie...For The Simple fact this Was Basic when It came To The Way You Stringed everythin Together...
One thing is.. I Saw Potential no Doubt...Few Cool Lines In This piece.. & There were some spot's where it was just Like ???...Anyways
I Dont Know Whats goin On With Feed Right now...
But Keep Doin You...
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 4:18 pm
by Brah-Vo
I guess i gotta explain it ... By Tools i mean they dicks know what im sayin? No homo. Thats why i said it wasnt lethal know what im sayin?
Thats why the girl didnt wanna pray coz she hated "getting on her knees"
But yo good looks on the feed. uppin.
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 11:56 pm
by Haz
Hm.
I See What your Sayin
But It just Doesn't Go Together right.
Re: .. Hustle, Hustle ..
Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:51 am
by Lotus
.. R.A.I .. wrote:Sag their Jeans to they knees
With a bandana rockin in their back pocket
Hustle hustle
but at the same time hopin their track rockets
To number one
What makes em gangsta? Coz they popped a few rounds?
Givin em wrong looks so they popped a few clowns?
Imma bring the thunder son, tear asunder blunts
Im the predator you the Hunted one ..
woowwwwwww.... im feelin the flow hard as hell that last bar is raw
Thats all fake to me
It doesnt take a whole lotta Faith to See ..
God forsake this place
U feel safe coz u got cold steel on ya waist?
Dudes hidin their face, disgraced
They say death stalks us at every corner
Imagine mr Clause screamin a happy merry slaughter
again, mad flow... idk bout this last line though, seems redundant to say "happy merry slaughter". it'd sound better something like "imagine mr clause screamin have a merry slaughter.
Laughable at least, but they do the same
everyday when they strappin up the heat
But hes got a mouth of yellow teeth
Blood in his eyes, gotta survive
so His baby moms can make it out alive
ehh personally i think it'd sound better if you said "mouthful".
i like the "blood in his eyes" line... profound.. like all he sees is violence.. or maybe he smokin some dank lol. again, awesome flow, it's got really nice pentameter to it. definitely would be interested in hearin this on a track.
She got dreams of makin it big .. A singer ..
Voice of an angel no doubt
But her boy be rappin bout evil ..
dudes stickin tools in her mouth
Shootin about, but what they packin aint lethal ..
To Otha dudes at Least ..
But now she cant sing when her dude produce a beat
All this to pay the rent ? Damn ..
Father told her to Pray and repent ..
But she hate it everytime she get on her Knees .
nice... no complaints here.
He's Cold, a Killer
But thats only the exterior
Inside in his mind He's Losin it
Losin his grasp of reality
Coz Lifes ruined it .
Gotta be big, gotta keep tough
Gotta keep strong, gotta get up .
All he really needed was a place to cry
But everytime his son come in his face was dry
No time for emotion, he gotta keep movin
while the peeps groovin, he sip on the potion
gotta go fast keep it on the double double ..
Coz all he doin now is
Hustle, Hustle .
dunno what exactly you meant by keep it on the double double. i like how ya switched the rhyme scheme and kept the flow.
nice man.. tbh i think it could use a lil extra something.. cnt put my finger on it, but for real i'd like to hear this on a track
Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:47 am
by Brah-Vo
Yo GOodLooks on the feed haz and lotus .. U droppin some good feed Lotus Lol.