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early bloomer, late learner.
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:40 pm
by Borat
The bird fly's out the window.
There is no real home.
Find the worm before he wakes.
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:51 pm
by Brah-Vo
Word.
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:54 pm
by Brah-Vo
Nah for real though. For 3 lines thats very deep and profound.
On a level which you cant explain. It's pretty much how people are nowadays.
Most peeps work a 9 to 5, too busy for a family life . And they always gonna try and Catch that "worm" that American Dream while they still can, but even if they done get it, They get back out again to get more?
Know what im sayin?
Man's greed .
Thats what i got out of it.
Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 9:07 am
by Borat
glad you took something out of it...
It's just a variation of Haiku.
Trying my hand at different poetry styles, thanks for the feed man.
Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 1:55 am
by Glamtrash
I never did like Haiku, but that doesn't mean this isn't good. I just find it really hard to critique something that's only three lines. Maybe if you had used better wording? I dunno lemme come back to this one, I'm in the midst of getting ready for work.