Hip Hop Forum

a king ruling wit an iron-fist
try-an-resist the defiant-n-swift
in triumph-i-spit, denying-its-sick
is like lying-to-kids
relentless-wit-skill the restless-the-ill
my penance-is-real a menance-on-pills
a phyco wit a prefence-ta-kill
a shark-imprisioned with dark-ambitons
making sharpe-incissions one bite your heart-is-finished
as i embark-on-missions
use fear-to-control its clear-i-am-bold
sincere-i-invoke terror like iraqis steering-on-roads



what ever its the begining of a verse im working on

feed is apreciated

Not bad at multis... complex but Flows good

it is short tho... So ill wanna see what ya add to it later...


Constructive feed.. Hmmm

Only part that didnt work for me was.. heart-is-finished

Finished didnt work with the rhyme.... atleast thats what i think..

mabey something like .... Hear-is-Missin or Missing how ever

but again that sjust my opinion.

Nice tho Keep at it.. and leave feed on mine if u get a chance 1

Nice multis good flow, nice imagery here and there.
even if u got good multis, some of it seemed abit too forced and like u was lookin for words to rhyme with.,
But far out you have a good vocabulary.
Try and make it seem more natural. i dunno but thats what i reckon.

Keep up bro!

yeah the mutlies werent bad
the flow was a little rushed
a lttile bit forced there one or two of em like

restless-the-ill

i mean c'mon dude
but it was still pretty dope
i hope to read the rest
keep'em comin