Hip Hop Forum

I'll Make you Proud...

one of my older tracks I'll def. upload this one when I got time..this ones got a fast style..
On the verses it pretty much fills every count....OK enjoy if you dont like it thats cool too
get @ me


HOOK x 2

i'll make you proud momma..this ones FOR YOU
i know they gon' feel me now momma...your words WERE-TRUE
even when my little tears were flowin down like a RIVER
you said, keep ya CHIN UP never GIVE UP youll be a WINNER



we'd go to parties while they were drinkin right after DIN-NER
Mom would play Ukelele and backups i'd be the lead SIN-GER
and we'd go through different MEDLEYS singin SWEET-MEL-OD-IES
it put's my mind at ease thinkin of SWEET-MEM-O-RIES
and you alway's CARED even if you werent always THERE
no we never really had much but I was always FED
single mother cause my daddy couldn't be all he SAID
alway's got into trouble so my ass was alway's RED
years later when I called him up well ALL-HE- SAID
he gave another son my name like i was ALMOST DEAD
at first I hated'em dont hate'ems what my MOMMA SAID
and now when I look back at it i ALMOST give a SHIT
I drop it like a bad habit and ROLL TO THE NEXT
feelin like I should have an S-SEWN-TO-MY-CHEST
i gotta thank the lord above cause I am TRU-LY BLESSED
from the GUT-TER to all BUT-TER baby cause TRU-BE-BEST


HOOK x 2

i'll make you proud momma..this ones FOR YOU
i know they gon' feel me now momma...your words WERE-TRUE
even when my little tears were flowin down like a RIVER
you said keep ya CHIN UP never GIVE UP youll be a WINNER



and now my MO-TTO mash it full THRO-TTLE and NO-SUR-REN-DER
I overflo'eth the cup cause i boil i DONT-SIM-MER
out in the 808 region is where my SOUL-LIN-GERS
keep reppin that H.I. state til I got COLD-FIN-GERS
I still aint rich i aint gotta worry bout GOLD-DIG-GERS
drive a hundred miles to the studio in a FOUR-LITER
to get up on the mic and breathe fire like GOD-ZILLA
dedicatin KIL-LER hours to be the TOP-BILLER
ROCK-EM KNOCK-EM i'm ILL-ER POP-N-HOT yes i'll GRILL-YA
TRE-TRU out the pacific BLUE and yes I keep it REAL-ER
quik to DE-LIV-ER, we do it sicker in the PAC-IF-IC
9-6-7-4-0 is the CODE to be SPE-CI-FIC
it took a HARD-MIN-UTE but now i put my HEART-IN-IT
I speak truths IN-FIN-ITE SPIT-IT-WITH no GIM-MICKS
and for all them HATERS and them CRIT-ICS that dont GET-IT
this song was written to thank my momma thats why i DID-IT

HOOK x 2

i'll make you proud momma..this ones FOR YOU
i know they gon' feel me now momma...your words WERE-TRUE
even when my little tears were flowin down like a RIVER
you said keep ya CHIN UP never GIVE UP youll be a WINNER


copyrights
TreTru 2007
Island Mojo Productions..

doesn't look spectacular on text but the audio track is pretty good..

Easy to follow...
I felt the first verse more.. relate at bits and felt ur vibe just from reading it ...

Fav Part there was

we never really had much but I was always FED
single mother cause my daddy couldn't be all he SAID

Deep luv it.

2nd verse didnt seem as deep ati first but came out more complex i think.

Fav


it took a HARD-MIN-UTE but now i put my HEART-IN-IT
I speak truths IN-FIN-ITE SPIT-IT-WITH no GIM-MICKS
and for all them HATERS and them CRIT-ICS that dont GET-IT
this song was written to thank my momma thats why i DID-IT

Over all nice.. like to hear it see how diff it sounds .. from how i hear it in my head. id Like to be able to write stuff that could be audio... even if i never do audio .. id Ghost for some one i guess lol

ill look up the audio nice post .. 1

thanks for the feed man..I'll return the favor..
and your right about the second verse I was getting more complex
with the rhymes wich made it lose some of it's depth...thanks

this was pretty nice. lots of emotion throughout. it was a smooth read. i would like to here the audio. a bit of advice would be to up the vocab a notch and im not a fan of the way u break down the syllables in your multis. it actually fucks the flow up slightly. anyway well done keep at it

I think I know what you talkin about I'll pull the audio for you guys..and
thanks for the advice..I appreciate it.

i'll make you proud momma..this ones FOR YOU
i know they gon' feel me now momma...your words WERE-TRUE
even when my little tears were flowin down like a RIVER
you said, keep ya CHIN UP never GIVE UP youll be a WINNER



^ Alright.. Concept of The song is Layed out...
Basic But.. It's a Hook Why Make It Crazy Complex...


we'd go to parties while they were drinkin right after DIN-NER
Mom would play Ukelele and backups i'd be the lead SIN-GER
and we'd go through different MEDLEYS singin SWEET-MEL-OD-IES
it put's my mind at ease thinkin of SWEET-MEM-O-RIES
and you alway's CARED even if you werent always THERE
no we never really had much but I was always FED
single mother cause my daddy couldn't be all he SAID
alway's got into trouble so my ass was alway's RED
years later when I called him up well ALL-HE- SAID
he gave another son my name like i was ALMOST DEAD
at first I hated'em dont hate'ems what my MOMMA SAID
and now when I look back at it i ALMOST give a SHIT
I drop it like a bad habit and ROLL TO THE NEXT
feelin like I should have an S-SEWN-TO-MY-CHEST
i gotta thank the lord above cause I am TRU-LY BLESSED
from the GUT-TER to all BUT-TER baby cause TRU-BE-BEST

Didnt Like How you said 'True be Best' Seemed Forced...
Like i Said Before you Break Thing's Down That Really Aren't Multis
you Should just Let um Flow... Your Not a Terrible Dood Or anythin Just a Flaw Thats All...

no we never really had much but I was always FED
single mother cause my daddy couldn't be all he SAID
alway's got into trouble so my ass was alway's RED
years later when I called him up well ALL-HE- SAID
he gave another son my name like i was ALMOST DEAD

^ I Really Liked That Man.. it was Stringed Together Nicely , One Event Leadin To ANother... Emotion Was Brought Nicely..This Was good.

and now my MO-TTO mash it full THRO-TTLE and NO-SUR-REN-DER
I overflo'eth the cup cause i boil i DONT-SIM-MER
out in the 808 region is where my SOUL-LIN-GERS
keep reppin that H.I. state til I got COLD-FIN-GERS
I still aint rich i aint gotta worry bout GOLD-DIG-GERS
drive a hundred miles to the studio in a FOUR-LITER
to get up on the mic and breathe fire like GOD-ZILLA
dedicatin KIL-LER hours to be the TOP-BILLER
ROCK-EM KNOCK-EM i'm ILL-ER POP-N-HOT yes i'll GRILL-YA
TRE-TRU out the pacific BLUE and yes I keep it REAL-ER
quik to DE-LIV-ER, we do it sicker in the PAC-IF-IC
9-6-7-4-0 is the CODE to be SPE-CI-FIC
it took a HARD-MIN-UTE but now i put my HEART-IN-IT
I speak truths IN-FIN-ITE SPIT-IT-WITH no GIM-MICKS
and for all them HATERS and them CRIT-ICS that dont GET-IT
this song was written to thank my momma thats why i DID-IT

To Be Honest Family , i Didnt Like This cause it Didnt Match The Rest of The song In My Opinion... You Shoulda Wrote Out Anotha Deep Verse Like The First One.. I Didnt Like your Multis...In This verse.. BUT! yooo The Thing I said I Liekd Was ill in My Opinion..Ayyyy Just Work on ya Multis.. & Stayin On Topic you'll Be Find Man, Good Read.

wow on the real guys thatnks..I'll try to drop some better shyt too..
think you guys are right...I don't I think I complicate the shit cause I alway's got somethin to prove trying to rhyme my ass off and tryin to bang a bunch of multi's that are unnecessary..this is why I need ya'lls feed much respect..

Nice shit family but dont cap the words at the end...but they were easy to follow and i understood the concept.

Nice shit
8.0/10

Comment/Rate mines
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/bin-l ... 11539.html

Yeah thanks for the feed man..Go ahead and check it out I uploaded the audio
into the chamber under make you proud..check it out ..

man nice drop
the flow was pretty straight
sounded pretty dope on ya track
yeah i heard dat
nice multies sum real feelins to it
keep'em comin dood
u got sum talent

very strong lyrics, great flow, vocab, this was really great and i felt the emotion put into this def caught my attention and i didnt want to stop reading great job!

This was a pretty heart felt piece...I dont know if your dropped the track already but Ima have to peep it next time Im online...this was a nice piece though my dude..keep it up

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This was deep ,emotionally,could feel it like you meant it, your first verse was awesome to me,2nd verse was good too but didn't feel it as much imo, gonna download the track soon defintly when I get a chance...check out my collab track in the booth called trinity ,I'm third verse ,peace

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