Hip Hop Forum

listen yo... i don't need a notepad,
cuz wit my flow i dont hold back,
and no i dont rap, but like a train im on the tracks,
no matter of fact, im on wings,
im supported by stacks, my tower of money,
guess wat... its all me,
yall tryin to gets scraps off me,
back off me, i lead ya to a rude awakening,
like a cup of bad coffee,
and all ya boys would forget they ever saw me,
man im never sorry,
never question the consequences, never stallin,
ive overthrown the guantlet, heaven's falling,
hell has risen, i can smell the symptoms,
but hey thas jus how we livin,
gotta be about ya business,
dont fall for the gimmicks,
if you got it, you gotta stand tall and defend it,
and if it aint yours, ya need to stop the pretendin,
money is life, we'll take yours, and say that you lent it.
better pay some attention..
and if you late on the payment, i wont make an extension,
im in this game until i make me some pension.
yes im a villain, dont play wit the henchman,
im the worst name to be mentioned,
the snitches are itchin for they lips to be stitched, and/
they jus diggin they ditches,
they think they big but they bitches,
they could see a shootin star, im fulfillin deathwishes,
deal wit em the old way, my justice is vintage,
dont give a fuck for my image..
ive had enough of the critics,
and im fed up to my limits...
and yea that gun is so rhythmic,
i could put em to sleep,
i hope the government listens..
we in the melting pot, you gotta hustle to get it...
life, ya better love it or give it up for nothin..
like ya hittin the self destruction button,
and thas jus how it is, but i kinda wish it wasnt,
if he aint a brother, he jus another distant couzin..
we all got the same blood in our veins, and its running,
but now we got heart problems, the doc's sayin we done in
we're too hotheaded, we tossed our brains in the oven..
so i keep my cool... im elevatin above it,
so when i drop wisdom, even the haters would love it..

idk... mad long, no clear topic, jus some quick shit i keyed to "ride wit the mac"

reading it, you might not think it flows well, but trust me.

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/follo ... html#99696

it might have flowed well in your head
no oofense but ni obviously daint get on that level
wasnt really feelin this i can pint out my fave bit which was

so i keep my cool... im elevatin above it,
so when i drop wisdom, even the haters would love it..

but i'm sure u can drop better than this
keep practisin my dood

its hard for me to keep to one topic when i drop.

as for the flow, no offense taken.

i switch it up alot

on the real I kinda liked the flow of it...and your rhymin your ass off..haha
but it's kinda all over the place so..keep and droppin practicin dog..
see you around the site..

uhhh the flow seemed forced at times..and the rhymescheme was low when it came to skill..i think you should try to stay on topic more or set a topic and process a plan and then write nah meen?

it would help in the long run but thats just me

5/10

good looks uppin

we gotta similar styles homie. Abit more of an audio style.
So i sorta caught on your flow pretty quick. But even if i did it still seemed abit basic and yeah abit all over the place.

Try and make your structure abit more basic, while still keeping that unorthodox rhyming scheme and your set.

yeah like i said, i vary the flow alot to put emphasis and emotion into certain messages.

sorta like wayne does... hes one of my biggest influences.. not jockin his style though, jus learned alot from him

idk why its so difficult to keep to one message though. gotta lotta opinions on the world n how shit is, and im a pretty smart dude when it comes to illustrating concepts, i think its jus the whole "rap" part of it that throws me off. gettin to caught up in the actual rhymes than the message

Yeah .. Thats why alotta cats startin singin with AutoTune (Kanye, Weezy)
Rap is good to express yaself but it has it's limits.
I was in your position before but when it comes down to it.
Its just practise.
Keep up .

Hell no lol id never think of that autotune shit.

theres more inventive ways to alter a voice anyway.

but yeah its crazy to see my shit progress like i jus started rappin like a year ago n didnt committ to it jus as a once in a while thing.. im writin like everyday now. like no matter how good i think i am now, ill look back in a month and think it aint shit

Thats what im sayin man. All about elevatin. U still got time .