Tre Tru's New Keystyle...

[TreTru]

it's EV-ID-EN-CIAL I rock MEN-TAL on IN-STRU-MEN-TALs , with poTEN-TIAL to cause IN-CRE-MENT-ALS how I work the PEN-CIL

You'll need HEALTH-N-DEN-TAL with how I hit you with this TEM-PO, MON-U-MEN-TAL rap ES-SEN-TIALS take me to a-NOT-HER-LEV-EL.

Ya dancing with the DE-VIL trying to pop off I MAKE-IT-DEF. my gat rest on ya TEM-PLE say SHIT i'll TAKE-YA-BREATH

BREAK-YA-NECK like I'm king of TEXT. I aint MAKE-IT-YET.... PRAY-YOU-GET to RE-PENT
before you feel my BAY-O-NET

I'll SPRAY-YO-CHEST GRADE-YA-FLESH for sayin the SAME-OL-SHIT .
I'll PAY-YO-DEBTS i'm section 8 LICK my DICK
and i'll PAY-YO-RENT.

haha my quik attempt at Keystyle..just bored.
let me know if I'm headed in the right direction..

[Jesodist]

it's EV-ID-EN-CIAL I rock MEN-TAL on IN-STRU-MEN-TALs , with poTEN-TIAL to cause IN-CRE-MENT-ALS how I work the PEN-CIL

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nice opener smooth flow.

You'll need HEALTH-N-DEN-TAL with how I hit you with this TEM-PO, MON-U-MEN-TAL rap ES-SEN-TIALS take me to a-NOT-HER-LEV-EL.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wasnt really feeling this your topic was mixed up and tempo sounded a lil forced there.

Ya dancing with the DE-VIL trying to pop off I MAKE-IT-DEF. my gat rest on ya TEM-PLE say SHIT i'll TAKE-YA-BREATH

Again breath and def sounds like you forced them. if you pronounce them aloud you will hear that they dont rhyme a 100% the B and the D dont rhyme too good.

BREAK-YA-NECK like I'm king of TEXT. I aint MAKE-IT-YET.... PRAY-YOU-GET to RE-PENT before you feel my BAY-O-NET

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Liked this nice threatning line.

I'll SPRAY-YO-CHEST GRADE-YA-FLESH for sayin the SAME-OL-SHIT .
I'll PAY-YO-DEBTS i'm section 8 LICK my DICK
and i'll PAY-YO-RENT.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hm didnt really get what you were trying to say here your ideas were a lil mixed up here bro.

All in All not a bad freestyle. Keep it comming.

[TreTru]

You'll need HEALTH-N-DEN-TAL with how I hit you with this TEM-PO, MON-U-MEN-TAL rap ES-SEN-TIALS take me to a-NOT-HER-LEV-EL.

^^probably right about that^^


Ya dancing with the DE-VIL trying to pop off I MAKE-IT-DEF. my gat rest on ya TEM-PLE say SHIT i'll TAKE-YA-BREATH

^^I was actually feelin this part..I disagree on dat but I need the feed^^

BREAK-YA-NECK like I'm king of TEXT. I aint MAKE-IT-YET.... PRAY-YOU-GET to RE-PENT
before you feel my BAY-O-NET


^^^yeah this ones pretty good^^^


I'll SPRAY-YO-CHEST GRADE-YA-FLESH for sayin the SAME-OL-SHIT .
I'll PAY-YO-DEBTS i'm section 8 LICK my DICK
and i'll PAY-YO-RENT.


^^^yeah the translation got lost, I guess it is forced....
section 8 is a government funded housing subsidy..they pay
for your rent fully or partially..depending on your qualifications..


all in all thanks alot for the feedback.I'm new to the text battlin thing.
I make tracks, and freestyle but this shit is interesting, challenging that's why I like it..

[TreTru]

? Feed anyone?

[Jesodist]

People here dont really like to give feed when they dont like a drop its fuckin bullshit. they enjoy when you give them feed on theirs and dont return the favor but i gave you my feed already bro and i am glad you respected it.

[TreTru]

shit yeah I'm in here to get better so,If it's actually constructive
criticism it helps....whatever..we the only Mofos left.. haha

[Brah-Vo]

I thought this was pretty sick for a keystyle. You had a smooth, easy flow but at times it seemed forced. But thats iight.
It was koo.

[TreTru]

yeah true that..I'm still trying to perfect this new writing style..
your right on with your feed too.thanks for takin the time out..

[vanity]

"it's EV-ID-EN-CIAL I rock MEN-TAL on IN-STRU-MEN-TALs , with poTEN-TIAL to cause IN-CRE-MENT-ALS how I work the PEN-CIL "

^^^ love how u started

"You'll need HEALTH-N-DEN-TAL with how I hit you with this TEM-PO, MON-U-MEN-TAL rap ES-SEN-TIALS take me to a-NOT-HER-LEV-EL. "

^^^ not bad would have liked something a lil diff. but for keystyle was good

"Ya dancing with the DE-VIL trying to pop off I MAKE-IT-DEF. my gat rest on ya TEM-PLE say SHIT i'll TAKE-YA-BREATH "

BREAK-YA-NECK like I'm king of TEXT. I aint MAKE-IT-YET.... PRAY-YOU-GET to RE-PENT
before you feel my BAY-O-NET

^^^ these were my fav i loved em!

"I'll SPRAY-YO-CHEST GRADE-YA-FLESH for sayin the SAME-OL-SHIT .
I'll PAY-YO-DEBTS i'm section 8 LICK my DICK
and i'll PAY-YO-RENT. "

^^^ didnt love his mayb cuz im a girl idk lol

i enjoyed it and u had me rappin it great keystyle!

[88SkyLink]

this shit is good for a keystyle. the way you broke down the syllables were kinda annoying though. You can certainly improve it, but all in all a good drop

[Shooter]

Good keystyle I was feeling the multis
And the broke down syllables made me want to read all of it...lol

Keep up the good work

[ Post made via iPhone ]