Hip Hop Forum

Nike sign says just do it / Matter your life does to you
Cant fly if you got no shoes / You better start walking tall
React to what life brings you / Brain controls everything
Make your moves ahead of time / Collide with space and time
Break bread and feed the hungry / Dome alcohol shots to the head
Now I'm getting dizzy / Listen to the music to gain your balance
Understand through experience / Soon the truth shall set you free
Words you write down is prayer / Kneel only when you box
No work no play / Done with all your choirs yet
Work is needed around the house / Get to it and finish
Karma is around the corner / Eye see's all that you do
Make sure to act true / Don't wear that red and blue
Your ears can keep you from blindness / Pitch black you can't see
Darkness surrounds you / Your shadow is now everywhere
Open your eye to see / Light your way through the darkness
You do not walk through alone / God is always with you
Blue planet in the Universe / Earth moves around the sun
It also rotates / Growing as new life has begun
Read to get to God / Add more wise moves to your life
Play chess to practice / You got to be sharp when you exit
Steal to keep your belly full / Crime rates are increasing
TV gets more violent / Stop the killings and slayings
Always do good / Think about the consequences
Knowing the difference between good and bad / Don't be sad when its lost
Work hard to gather / Me and mine I mind
Concentrate on my seeds / Growing needs water and dirt
Flap wings and wave them / Top of the clouds I will take you
Fly high when I travel / Across every country
Logs of old wood / Fire on the roof
Smoke from the chimney showed caused / Leaves to ashes in Autumn
Matches light the candle / Green trees we smoke
white paper I roll / Lungs made of iron
Age matters in the brain / Back to the Future we go
Time is the only thing that changes / Media moves along with the wagon
Shoot from high ground / Command your troops to move forward
Surround the choke point / they will not be ale to handle the storm
Get the heart of the city / Collapse inside the center
Attack the Nexus / Cut the supply to money
Open your mouth for wind / Blow down the bridge
Stop talking / Spit fatal darts

I really didn't enjoy reading this piece(no offense), the flow was mad confusing you titled it Obama but it switches topics alot, i think you need a good amount of work, IMO

"Work is needed around the house / Get to it and finish
Karma is around the corner / Eye see's all that you do
Make sure to act true / Don't wear that red and blue
Your ears can keep you from blindness / Pitch black you can't see
Darkness surrounds you / Your shadow is now everywhere
Open your eye to see / Light your way through the darkness
You do not walk through alone / God is always with you "

"It also rotates / Growing as new life has begun
Read to get to God / Add more wise moves to your life
Play chess to practice / You got to be sharp when you exit
Steal to keep your belly full / Crime rates are increasing
TV gets more violent / Stop the killings and slayings
Always do good / Think about the consequences
Knowing the difference between good and bad / Don't be sad when its lost
Work hard to gather / Me and mine I mind "

A few of them bars were extremely deep. I think, this drop was far superior to your others.

I have no problem with the premise of this written. Besides the fact that it shouldn't be in the scriptures because its not really a rap.

I would have to assume this will continue to be underrated because its mainly metaphors and lacks similes.

Your two biggest dilemmas when writing something like this is becoming boring (you did), and using filler (you did).

I think, you might have stayed on topic more than 2complex gives you credit for if you were trying to signify change in the world.

Overall, it gets an 8/10 for poetry.

ayo. I felt this a lot man. yo I dont give a flying fuck.... This was dope as hell.

"Understand through experience / Soon the truth shall set you free
Words you write down is prayer / Kneel only when you box "


"No work no play / Done with all your choirs yet
Work is needed around the house / Get to it and finish "


"Your ears can keep you from blindness / Pitch black you can't see
Darkness surrounds you / Your shadow is now everywhere "

"Matches light the candle / Green trees we smoke
white paper I roll / Lungs made of iron
Age matters in the brain / Back to the Future we go
Time is the only thing that changes / Media moves along with the wagon
Shoot from high ground / Command your troops to move forward
Surround the choke point / they will not be ale to handle the storm
Get the heart of the city / Collapse inside the center
Attack the Nexus / Cut the supply to money
Open your mouth for wind / Blow down the bridge
Stop talking / Spit fatal darts"

dope man.