Hip Hop Forum

Mistakes-
A freestyle
lyrics werent nething special but was going for flow on this one

More Than Friends:
just a w.e thing
a fictional storyline none of it is true
tried to stay on point like i was told to do
and it isnt about guns are nething

lyrics:
before we were nothing//
here we are fuckin//
you gotta tell me sumtin//
or my hearts gonna stop pumpin//
you gotta let me know//
or im just gonna go//
you gotta let me know//
or im just gonna go//

i wanna be more than just fuckin friends//
i just hope that this is one of those popular trends//
that wont go on forever and ever//
its a hard question but its nothing too clever//
we cant keep on living our lives like this//
i want more behind our lips when we kiss//
i want a love that can no one can con//
so u gotta let me know or im gone//

before we were nothing//
here we are fuckin//
you gotta tell me sumtin//
or my hearts gonna stop pumpin//
you gotta let me know//
or im just gonna go//
you gotta let me know//
or im just gonna go//

if we cant be friends i dont wanna know you//
because i need someone that i can go to//
to tell my sorrow and pain that i feel inside//
and someone that would care if ever died//
someone to lend a shoulder when my tears need a home//
im tired of having dinner all alone//
im tired of not having someone to joke with//
so you gotta let me know or im drowning in this 5th//

before we were nothing//
here we are fuckin//
you gotta tell me sumtin//
or my hearts gonna stop pumpin//
you gotta let me know//
or im just gonna go//
you gotta let me know//
or im just gonna go//

I've listened to just about every track you've ever shared on illest...but I'ma give you a hint of advice...

STOP USING THE F-WORD AS A FILLERRRRRR

I've noticed that in all of your tracks, that when you need the bar to fit in right and you can't find the "right word" to plug into the line...you say "fuckin" every-single-timeeeee...
...STOP THAT.

haha

Love of God man, increase your vocabulary. lol As relieved as I am to hear you not do sumthin including guns or ghetto-burb violence...you need to not use "fuckin" so much as a filler, it sounds bad and uneducated. There are times that it fits, and there are times it won't...you just need to know when to use it. Usually "fuckin" isn't a good word to use at the end of any sentence or bar.

I mean think about it, this song is supposed to have a softer touch to it right? Sumthin a bit more romantic based. Well...listen to that line...

"I wanna be more than just fuckin friends"

...damn dude, slow your roll haha Why so fuckin aggressive towards the girl? lol Ur tryin to ask the girl sumthin in the song and here ur swearin at the bitch. lemme tell ya...thats not gonna win any girl over haha

Read more books TK...it helps.

More than Friends is pretty dope, i like the vibe of it and the topic, flow was there too...

If mistakes was really a freestyle then you got some real potential in my opinion...

Anyway some of the best work i heard from you thus far, get at me for a collab, we were gonna do one awhile ago but never got around to it...

KG-
yeah mistakes was. i mean i kept on fuckin up and having to record but its w.e
but thanks and i still have that collab
but imma re do my verse so its not so shitty

Kurse-
HAHAHA
thank you
i mean it
i do use "Fuck" or another form of it as a filler.but i dk its just the only thing that comes to my mind

and that part "I wanna be more than just FUCKING friends"
that wasnt being aggressive towards her
it was implying that "I wanna be more than just friends that only have sex"
thats what i was saying

Dead Silence wrote:...and that part "I wanna be more than just FUCKING friends"
that wasnt being aggressive towards her
it was implying that "I wanna be more than just friends that only have sex"
thats what i was saying

Nah Nah Nah...I understand the message. haha I'm just sayin...when you have a delicate topic such as the one you chose, and throw an aggressive word in the mix such as the F-Bomb...then it's not going to mesh well. I knew the message...it just comes off too hard. lol

lol oh okay than
i understand what ur saying now

gettin better dude, only advice i can offer is to rehearse your verses a bit more, i can hear u trippin up, n kurse had a good point about vocabulary

anyway cool shit, better than the other stuff i heard