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Forgotten Whole

Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:25 pm
by Glamtrash
I never said I had everything,
but I have everything I need.
I never said I was unbreakable,
you've been known to make me bleed.
I never said I wanted to be alone,
even though I know I could make it -
It's easier fixing what hasn't been done.
It doesn't matter what I do,
what I say, or how I talk to to you -
How many pictures of me do you hang in your room?
Do you even know when my birthday is?
I'm a bastard girl without a friend -
I may survive, but I don't live.
My sweat and blood, tears and fears go into everything
I know I'm not your only girl, and I know I'm not perfect,
but will my name ever fall upon your lips naturally?
Will you ever pair up the right girl with her name?
Bruised and battered we lay on the floor.
You pushed us too far ,and we're to blame.
My obstacles are getting to be too great,
but I won't fall and surrender - I will stand on my own two feet again
My words being sharp, but true and tender;
one day you'll see me and wish to go back.
Back to before you scarred my soul.
And I alone will learn to live
as both parts of a forgotten whole

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:57 pm
by Kurse
It's not as horrible as you made it sound to be. It's actually a pretty decent drop.
Granted...
...it's not as deeply moving as some of your other drops, but it got into it a little more as it went along. This one had kind of a slow and basic start, which isn't your traditional style when writing. But it's like you picked up a slight groove before the end and finished it nicely.
It's hard for me to say it's bad because I enjoy reading your poetic thoughts.
But I can see where it lacks luster compared to your previous work.
None the less...I'ma say 8/10
Good job Rockstar!

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 11:17 pm
by Arvincible
"dont leave me, dont u love my vagina?"

"im sorry, but ive forgotten it...u have a forgotten hole..."


lol this shit was dope..i love ur fuckin poems woman

Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:48 am
by precise
coulda swore i left feedback on this lol


anyway its a good read, very emotional n the theme kinda changes from beginnin to middle to end, the endin was put together nicely