Hip Hop Forum

ok for starters yea this is gonna be recorded soon...i kno the verses are long but thats cuz of the beat i wrote it to..i spent about maybe 2weeks writin this song. personally one of my favorites ive written so far..its about an angel who fell from the top tryna make his way back up and has to explore the earth..so if u cud,leave some feed on it..i kno its long but id highly apperciate the read and comments, and leave a link to whatever u want feeded on.



im justa fallen angel who came from the top
hit the earth hard leavin flames on the block
with broken wings i still remain in shock
a new world i gotta make the pain within stop
[2x]


starin hard at the ground as i sense im chokin
i cant heal myself i feel my defense is broken
eyes are blurry my bodys all tense im hopin
ill be ok as my mind becomes condensed but open
im so used to seein everything from the clouds
all the cries and laughter by the young and proud
now turned into silence yet some are loud
as society crumbles into crumbs but how
am i suppose to fight in'a place so morbid
knownin deep inside theres no way i can fore fit
in other words i cant just give up or quit
im'a soulja tryna give peace and restore it
to the land and keep tryna provide the facts
while these snakes and devils try to hide in packs
shud i take em out?i gotta decide if thats
what i shud do or just let god guide em back
my heart is racin with thoughts intertwined so tight
now livin in the dark with a mind so bright
tryna see the good path and find the light
that i once saw that wud make me blind on sight
sittin here wonderin how do i conceal so much
cuz all this pain and rage made feel this rush
almost like god came tryna heal these cuts
tho i kno it wont happen he's too real to touch


im justa fallen angel who came from the top
hit the earth hard leavin flames on the block
with broken wings i still remain in shock
a new world i gotta make the pain within stop
[2x]


losin all faith with a cross on my chest
watchin how the sun gets lost in the west
still tryna find jesus on this cracked road
i gotta bad feelin i wont make it back so
i keep on walkin far past the trees
sayin a little prayer just askin please
show me a sign do u believe im frail?
open up a path man just leave a trail
cuz ill be damned if im ever gonna grieve n fail
gotta keep walkin while i breathe in hail
the ice is so cold it burns my flesh
barely makin it is it my turn to rest?
i doubt it thats somethin i gotta earn i guess
seein smilin faces i wont adjourn the mess
but if u cud say why did u send me here?
my wings are so broken u aint a friend its clear
when i need somethin u wont even lend an ear
but its all good cuz i kno the end is near
theres a gapin hole thats tryna take my soul
swallow my pride u better take it whole
this angel's still alive i cant fake it tho
ill see the light even if it does break my bones
still talkin and wonderin when the preachin stops
still climblin just tryna reach the top


im justa fallen angel who came from the top
hit the earth hard leavin flames on the block
with broken wings i still remain in shock
a new world i gotta make the pain within stop
[2x]


its clear im dyin but i gotta act alive
make it thru this maze without a map or guide
strugglin to breathe bout to collapse cuz i
cant take the pressure from bein trapped inside
this place they call earth so i try to crawl hurt
all thru the raw dirt didnt expect to fall first
cuz im the chosen one god come hold me son
im really not an angel just tried to pose as one
since my wings are gone ill needa stair case
back up to the clouds cuz i kno thats where they
are gonna listen and will hear my prayer hey
i got confidence that u wont tear today
ive been here too long man somethins gotta give
seen all this pain that comes from alotta kids
its really to bad watchin what these dudes had
shatter into pieces cuz of someone whos mad
i see what it feels like to be small and dangle
from someones hand while u give ur all they strangle
the life outta u till u crawl so tangled
thru life this is me man a fallen angel

I Loved This Piece Fam ..
You Mos Deffo improved, Tha Story Was Nice ..
Tha Beginning Really Didn't Grab Mah Attention That Much ..
But As Tha Story Kept Goin, it Got Better ..
Some Multies Were Kinda Forced, Which Threw Tha Flow Off a Lil Bit ..
But Other Than That I Felt Tha Song, Can't Wait to Hear it Man ..
Props ..

i look forward hearin the recorded version

1st Of All, The Flow, Rhymes And Structure Were Great, Probably The Best Drop ive Read From u in That Side Of Things.

But There's More To Rapping Than That, The Whole Message is Wrong, And ive Seen Too Many Depressing, Pessimistic Verses From u And The Last Thing u Want To Be Seen as is a Whiny Bitch (LOL) For Lack Of a Better Term. i Donno, i Just Disagreed With it Man, But That's Because Our Perspectives Are Different, So im Not Trying To Put u Or What u Write Down Or Anything. But Nah, The Message is All Wrong To Me, People Waiting On God To Come Solve Their Problems For Them. That's Weakness. u Did Mention Fighting Against it And i Donno if u Were Only Using The Whole God Thing as a Tool, Like Using it To Create Friction Within The Verse Or Whatever. But Nooo Steer Away From That Shit Lol.

i Know u Like ur Verses To Have Meaning, But u Gtta Tell People To Pick Themselves Up instead Of Sulking And Waiting Around For a Higher Power To Pick Them Up. it's All About inner Power Etc, i Know ive Rambled On a Bit, i Just Hate it When People Encourage That Kinda Shit, Basically Dismissing Self-Responsibility. ur Lyrics Were Clear, Spicy (Multis, Similes Etc) And Well Delivered Throughout, But Even With All Those in Top Form it Can Still Be a Bad Drop if ur Message is Non-Existant, Unclear, Or Just Wrong. Like i Said i Know u Can Deliver a Message Through a Rhyme, So if u Were To improve The Message But Keep The Rhymescheme Etc On The Same Level as This, u Have a Gem.

But if ur Opinion is Different From Mine And u Find Yourself Shaking ur Head at What i Typed, Then Keep it as it is. After All The Main Person u Wnna Win The Approval Of is Yourself.

Hope i Didn't Bore ur Ass Off Lol.