Hip Hop Forum

dear myself, i know noone cares-to-help as my inner demons tear-myself
i'm not in the hospital but don't compare-my-health! to those-happy..
as a child i opposed-pappy, it was so-snappy the way he sent blows-at me
went home at night , i hated-da-moon darkness always shaded-da-room..
father beat me with the belt till my skin lookd like a deflated-Balloon
needed some1 fuck the friends-i-got,i aint see them-a-lot..
it didnt matter cause at the end-i'd-jot a poem listening to em-n-pac..
one day i ran till my knees-crackd eventually i had 2 flee-back..
And See-dat i couldnt stand up! as he stomped Meee-flat..
He crushd my Power-on-purpose so i culd feel like a Cowar-And-worthliss..
I was soooo stepped on and treated like Mudd-Scummie..
Thats the price i payd for bein his son it's Blood-Money...
one night he came in claimin, he had so Much pain in..
his life to-bare, he asked me "do you-care?"
i nodded he cosigned-Yes,"So let me put u thru pain to make MINELESS!
So he Move-his-fists,on Some abusive-Shit Till i was Blue-n-Fit
To match-da-Sea..And my mindstate matchd-Dabree...
This was his Amusement park how was "THAT FAIR?"
The Worse part was Mom Cried & jus SAT-THERE...

man the mutlies were pretty good
it flowed well within the concept of the topic
the finish had a nice feel about
it was pretty good overall i was feelin this piece
tell me wot ya think about ya sig n keep'em comin

Uppin 4 Feed

I liked the beginning of it, shit was decent, just some of ur sentences come off short, like u bounce from one idea to another too quick.

Its good though ur multis were not bad. Its not that complex but its ok.

The story was decent as well. Good job