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brain damaged...

Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:28 pm
by Arvincible
I was blowed out when I wrote this, but imma post it anyways...

A-is-the-master, im what ya namin ya baby-kids-after, each bar cuts, I rip the pages-with-laughter, im the whole story so fuck changin-the-chapter, you niggas bite like the rage-of-a-raptor, and you aint hood, u hollywood cuz I aint afraid of no-fucking-actors, so im told-im-the-captor, a full cup of water how the flowin-is-captured, ur just a handful of plastic-ass-bastards, im rock hard and u mimic like casting-and-plaster, u can call urself casper cuz arv will have u pushin daisies like faggots-in-pastures, leave u with flesh hemorrhages, I thirst for blood so yall fresh beverages, runnin steel in heavy sets, ill make it hot in herre like nelly says, get the messages, arv makes ya starve while I keep the belly fed...
Fuckin bitches-and-pimpin-the-dancers, no point of even thinkin of answers, ill leave ya face twisted-like-winds-up-in-kansas, maskin, your children im kidnapping-for-ransom, watch me just standing-there-laughing, head loose like takin a ten tablets-of-aspirin, damn-it-im-spazzin, don't bother askin-who's-captain, cuz ya whole crew stopped rappin, how da fuck did that happen? With a clip is the only time i clap-at-ya-actin, and in an instant, im scopin-ya-from-distance, rip rappers like they opened-up-for-Christmas, now I see my heart open-on-ya-wishlist, fuck a slice on the wrist cuz instead imma twist it, now how the fuck u gonna throw a punch when ya fistless? Bitches, fuck a hook cuz it aint catchin-the-fishes, leave ya body out dead on a dirt patch-in-the-ditches, then walk away not actin-suspicious, shakin niggas up like im scarin em shitless, I'll poke a girl's clit with a stick just to watch-if-it-twitches or squishes, fuck it im vicious, humor and gore in different mixes, like an unstable turntable, im unable to fix this, I wrote this just to hit up the scriptures...

Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 11:01 pm
by Brah-Vo
Well for a piece you wrote while being drunk/high shits actually pretty dope.
Nice work bro.

Flow was nice and your multis were on point. Some nice stuff in there.

Very decent

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 1:39 am
by Stratosphere
The lyrics are there , I can tell you have the skill set to rip mic's , but this one was more of an acapella ( kickin it with your boys )type of rhyme . Couldnt really catch the beat if you feel me . Grade : B

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 4:09 am
by - Mutual -
the lyrics was dope nice flow the multies was fire i liked this shit i think it flowed pretty well and it was great stuff as usual comin from Arv hope ya keep em comin

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 6:27 am
by Arvincible
Yeah it wasn't a master piece ill tell u that lol I was just keyin like crazy, didn't really reread or nothin..thanks for the feed guys

Uppin

Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 2:04 pm
by complexity
"A-is-the-master, im what ya namin ya baby-kids-after, each bar cuts, I rip the pages-with-laughter, im the whole story so fuck changin-the-chapter"

Superior start besides the punchline. If you would have worded it something like..."i'm the whole story, why are you changing the chapter? and a punchline!"

"Fuckin bitches-and-pimpin-the-dancers, no point of even thinkin of answers, ill leave ya face twisted-like-winds-up-in-kansas, maskin, your children im kidnapping-for-ransom, watch me just standing-there-laughing, head loose like takin a ten tablets-of-aspirin, damn-it-im-spazzin, don't bother askin-who's-captain, cuz ya whole crew stopped rappin, how da fuck did that happen? With a clip is the only time i clap-at-ya-actin"

The punchline was pretty weak, but it was ridiculously slick rhymes.

Nice drop overall man, 9.0, I could see you thinking as I read it, very good.

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:29 pm
by Arvincible
yea im working on that..

bump

Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:45 am
by HKX
yo dats da best way 2 do it when ur blown or jus fucked up sum of da best shit could come outta u when ur doin ur thing dis shit was dope nice scrip nigga good punches and multis keep droppin nigga

Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 10:14 am
by Arvincible
Thanks mann good looks

Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 6:11 am
by Cee4
damn u killed it with the multis. u definitly got that shit mastered. overall this piece was nice. ur punchlines are improving but i thought this verse lacked a killer punch or quotable line. flow was there it was easy enough to read considring the structure. decent job 7/10

Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:51 am
by Arvincible
thanks man