sumthin i started workink on (need feed)

[cyanidesyn]

if it aint about me i dnt worry wat they do/
im rite back at it like an addict on day 2/
gritty mafucker u can tell by my facial/
douche bag prick so i expect em 2 hate dude/
harder 2 distinguish tha real from tha lies/
jus keep ya message strong n tha real will survive/
always been my dream 2 b tha greatest alive/
n thats when most say im jus foolish wit pride/
u really cnt c let me open up ur eyelids/
most cnt believe is that tha same corny white kid/
didnt c this coming well i couldnt say that i did/
boy i spit sick u could call it gingervitus/

[FatalX]

its a hype peice that lacks imagery...not that anything is out of place it just falls under a different catagory then what most people post here....I personally like it...I think you need to focus on writing more and make sure that when you post you give feed on two other peices

[NeverOddOrEven]

I personally liked this. I think you should revise it cuz it has potential to be a great piece. Just tighten up those multis and add a little imagery, but there were some hot lines. I especially liked "back at it like an Addict on Day 2"

Keep it up, though! Down to read more of your work.

[PeyotePearl]

I like the hype just needs more lines.