| Jsteel VS Dark Prince | Topical (J wins TKO)

[Tha Dark Prince]

Topic: A black guy facing racism


10 Bars


Due one week after check ins

Categories are:
-Storytelling
-Flow
-Creativity
-Multies
-Wordplay

votes must be explained properly



edit:
my votes:
illestlyrics.com/board/buer-splashking-vt22419.html

illestlyrics.com/board/32neilz-kause-vt22574.html

-----check-----

[Jsteel]

check man...i show my linkz just now,hold up

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

-- Tue Jun 14, 2011 4:47 am --

My links: http/w.ilestlyrics.com/board/s3v3nth1rty-splashking-vt22401.html

-- Tue Jun 14, 2011 4:50 am --

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/kurse ... 22748.html

[Tha Dark Prince]

Alone in this cold world,
bemoanin my whole birth,
I loath the foretold words
that they quote to show my low worth ||
my skin burnt, feet hurt, they scream ''work!!''
got me beserk, but I'll prolly get murked if I go so far as to even chirp ||
they look at me in disgust, an air of hatred, this gust
forms waves that's unjust, and surrounds, drowns n downs me with a gush ||
my wife gets raped, like most of our fates' , her dark skin portrays the scrapes,
for all to see as she ain't allowed ta be draped.. ||
my nieces take pieces of cloth and bleach it, rub then scrub it on their face till it's bleedin, get on their knees to pray n be pleadin ||
I ponder of a reason cause they're still all called heathens, my train of thought deepens, but my body just weakens ||
they act like we demons,
call us kaffirs to Jesus
but for their greed they do need us,
so the scraps is what they feed us ||
I wish I was killed as a fetus
In hell I dwell but I know they'll burn
so we plant our seeds for new breeds as knowledge increases,
till one is faced with facing a term ||
so great and hateful
but wait.. will our children be playful?
With each other like a white sister n black brother would they be faithful? ||
should we be grateful?
I leave this in hope..
Maybe one day a world non-racial................
(smacked) "get back to work negro!"

_____________________________________


kaffir = comes from the word kafr (arabic for infidel) whites called blacks this during slavery and apartheid

hope everyone gets the rest...

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

-- Fri Jun 17, 2011 6:21 pm --

Due to Jsteel having a problem with posting from his phone, he's pm'd me his verse to post it all neatly, voting opens when he confirms this here


Jsteel:

his plan hit and MUFFLED- IN - SHAME,hes the man in that PUPPET- STRING- PLAY/
his pistol with an in-can-descent rage,a missle fist at fiends- matched-devils flame/

still the whip will rip and kill- fans-levelled in pain no coolness blades ... his crystal lips spat,clean-raps-rebellin vague a slow movement pace

Blissful shit that with ease- definitely-break known rudeness fades ,i sizzle with rap seeds-heavily-weighed i flow fluent ,sane/

His silent mouth had me caged. his riots now a dancing slave/
the violence doused, handling pain whips . a virus found,strangling his brains,shit/ his skins burnt,his racism hurt fades.spin first into a pagenism cursed praise -sun worshiping- /

Fed lies that his blackness means death right.less wise ,i cant attack this,hes left blind/ stuck in poverty and doesnt wana move.im chucked out as he sits doomed / i work with him im his potential,inner power.he doesnt wana unlock it ,im fallin like cowards...

[Jsteel]

confirmed

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Kau the Lion]

Story: Dark Prince
Metaphors: Jsteel
Creativity: JSteel
Multies: JSteel
Flow: Tie

This wasn't nearly as one sided as my categories looked. Both pieces were well written and flowed smoothly. DP told more of a straight forward piece, the inner monologue of a slave; whereas Steel's was more abstract and that's what really caught my attention. He used a lot more metaphors and less story telling but overall it made it more interesting to me. He managed to get some bigger multies in there as well.

+1 JSteel

[EcKsTaSy]

Categories are:
-Storytelling- Dark
-Flow - JSteel
-Creativity - JSteel
-Multies -JSteel
-Wordplay -Jsteel

besides cats being lopsided it was a pretty close battle...

good shit by both parties, but mvgt: JSteel

[KING RUM12]

This wuz a very interesting topical battle.... n I liked both very much ...both were deep...

Storytell: darks drop had a pretty vivid picture n I cud understand where he wuz going steels gud but a Tad hard to follow but wus still felt..

Flow: I feel steels flow wuz wuz the shit he had a good start n kept it up from there.. darks flow wuz the shit also I cud hear both of there flows easy so I say tie ....

Multies:srry this really doesn't need explanation ...steel just honestly went iN with the multies..dark had a lot but dint hv more then steel seems like...so ..steel

Wordplay: steels word play wuz on point to me...I dint really see ne in Darks..so...steel

Creativity: lastly I don't know how the other voters said steel..they both killed on the creating ...I wud say dark but steel came with it too... so..tie

My vote : wud say steel b cuzz he killed on Wut were looking for in the categories...but dark. Wuz just way more interesting to me. so...dark prince

[ Post made via Android ]

[Enlightend]

wow i was really feeling jsteel's verse it was a refreshing drop on a topic that has been done alot i have seen many different forms of your verse dark prince so originality just wasn't there imo.....

not that its always expected... i mean a well written verse that takes the head on approach can win don't get me wrong but jsteel just came to nice with his.....

vote.... jsteel

[32neilz]

For me steel took all cats apart from the storytelling. Flow, creativity, multies, but that being said both were equally enjoyable. Prince just had a diffrent approach.
Overall a nice topical
mvgt: j steel

[ Post made via iPhone ]

[Jsteel]

4-1 to me...good battle d.p ...

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Alvin]

-Thread Closed & Records Updated-

JSteel wins TKO