Recognize..first audio at home

[Grim]

Please...i could use feedback on everything but sound quality...i want brutal honesty
[youtube]3PYvqP8taeM[/youtube]

[Loon E Lou]

mmmmm......beats kinda funny. straght up man, it sounds like your EHH about it, kinda like a lazy delivery. kinda sounds like you dont wanna wake your neighbors. no real emotion at all to it. BUT I WILL SAY THIS. i HAVE heard worse. honestly man im kinda disappointed. i was expecting better. im not talkin bout quality as much as delivery and presence. but now that you have your setup, you could work on it more, tweak a couple loose ends, and come out with some fire. your a good writer, now you jus gotta work on the basics (from what i can hear). thanks for lettin me freestyle to the first verse tho. haha. keep at it. like yezzir said, credit for trying man. keep on keepin on brotha

[Grim]

thanks ya'll and yeah i just tossed it together but my problem has always been being mono tone...and this cheap ass computer stick mic don't help...LOL..i didn't mix anything down or filter it or anything..so i'll get to it....i just slapped this together after work at like 3 am...but i appreciate the honest feedback