Domestic Violence

Expand your artistic ability through poetry and story telling. Poetry has been given new life ever since the inception of hip hop. Relax for a minute and explore your poetic side here.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Kuhlerblynd, Glamtrash, Borat

Post Reply
User avatar
Shawnmd
Dedicated Emcee
Offline
Posts: 88
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2011 10:04 am
Location: Tampa, FL

Domestic Violence

Post by Shawnmd »

Feedback would be appreciated.

abuse sounds foreign until it becomes domestic,
the abuser, in a way, might feel majestic,
happens the same way all across the world,
continues on until the situations unfurled,
for example, a wife is pushed to the edge,
years of pain about to drive her off the ledge,
shes crying next to her husband while in bed,
mark on her face cause of something she had said,
she wonders daily why he has to harm her,
back when she first met him, he was quite the charmer,
tommorrow, she decided, was time for her to end it,
for too long it was him she had defended,
in the morning, he wasnt told she took work off,
purchased a gun cause shes ready to smoke this jerk off,
she headed back home after she had bought it,
decided to get some tools cause revenge, yea she sought it,
opened the door, saw him in bed alone,
taped his mouth, ready to break more than one bone,
she grabbed the bat, then proceeded to start swinging,
he wasnt even ready for the pain she would be bringing,
once she stopped and observed, he then started bleeding,
crying out for the medical attention he was needing,
he was pleading, and she didnt want to hear any buts,
so she stood him up, then kicked him in the nuts,
he was tortured for a while before he could say something,
he was allowed stand up, and his head, it was thumping,
he apologized for beating her every now and then,
he promised that he wouldnt ever do it again,
she was about to end it, but he had something else to say,
he pointed out that he wouldnt torture her all day,
she would get major time for what shes done,
either that or she can go on the run,
she realized that sure, he had been a long time abuser,
but he never had tortured, wasnt a life chooser,
she shot him in the head, and he fell as if sedated,
then she shot herself too, and the scene evaporated.

http://www.my16bars.com/bars/entry/dome ... -miss-mia/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8TntIY6 ... r_embedded
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by Shawnmd on Mon Apr 04, 2011 11:47 am, edited 3 times in total.
User avatar
Borat
Lazy Ass
Offline
Posts: 802
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:25 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 2
No Shows: 1

Re: Domestic Violence

Post by Borat »

yo bro... we got a link rule in this here poetry section, the rule goes 2 links for 1 drop. Once you show me some links I will leave you some feed.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image
POET OF THE YEAR 2011
Image
I'm often soft like cotton but my message is clear, my words hold weight like "dumbos" ears.
Image
Image
User avatar
Shawnmd
Dedicated Emcee
Offline
Posts: 88
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2011 10:04 am
Location: Tampa, FL

Re: Domestic Violence

Post by Shawnmd »

my bad, links are there now tho.
User avatar
Borat
Lazy Ass
Offline
Posts: 802
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:25 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 2
No Shows: 1

Re: Domestic Violence

Post by Borat »

how about some Illest feedback links.
POET OF THE YEAR 2011
Image
I'm often soft like cotton but my message is clear, my words hold weight like "dumbos" ears.
Image
Image
User avatar
BennyBones
Elite Freestyler
Offline
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2009 9:49 am
Wins: 6
Losses: 21
Contact:

Re: Domestic Violence

Post by BennyBones »

not my cup of tea but def. catchy... i think is pretty coo how every one has their own style and able to be diverse at the same time.... not bad
"wHO THE hELL DO yOU THInK yOU ARE, jESUS mUTHA FuCKA????"
Post Reply

Return to “The Poet's Stage”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests