4 Warning

[NoVeL]

Tired of mess, lies and the stress the fire was kept, but truth be known you fear me, perspiring sweat

from the side of ya neck, you's a bitch, a liar at best/ we'll never see eye to eye cuz I'm higher in depth

covetous, desire my less, admire my rep, had to switch the style up to co-sign my own death/

acting 'childish', you a pedophile and I reconcile, too many runnin' track and haven't did a mile

drool and dribble with foolish scribble, immense 'bitter bile'/

throwin' sum shots, phones to go dial, yakkin' to friends, you gonna get popped

by one of my spins, I'm cold and I'm hot, tell you again, you old & should not

go & just jott, you won't even win, fold & just stop like oldest of clocks

U haven't been told what I've got

ya moment will blow, when you explode in Iraq/

stay wit ya crew Collectively ILL, roll wit the cops, don't go and get shot

hit ya head wit a stone and sum rocks, till it's swole with a knot, you have 'the flu' when it goes in a pot/

BIG GUNS, who's holdin' the glock, GOT KEYS, who opens the lock, NO PUSSY?! I ain't holdin' a cock/

not one to go mock but will blow up ya spot, wit a bow and a sock lit wit explosives in stock

'Leeroi Green' when I punch in his top & stomp in ribs, swallowin' dick will not get you 'tips'

flappin' ya lips and followin' fibs, get thrown off a bridge with a bottle of kids

news be like, he was a model for cigs & "got burnt" for muttering bits and mouthin off biz

that wasn't in his 'best interest', doctor said collect stitches.. Insurance? It was Fed's business

[Kause mc]

i like this piece man great multi's everywhere

BIG GUNS, who's holdin' the glock, GOT KEYS, who opens the lock, NO PUSSY?! I ain't holdin' a cock/

not one to go mock but will blow up ya spot, wit a bow and a sock lit wit explosives in stock

^^ i like that shit yo! haha i aint holdin a cock
nice written

[NoVeL]

Thanks fam, I appreciate the feed

[Alvin]

Tired of mess, lies and the stress the fire was kept, but truth be known you fear me, perspiring sweat
from the side of ya neck, you's a bitch, a liar at best/ we'll never see eye to eye cuz I'm higher in depth
covetous, desire my less, admire my rep, had to switch the style up to co-sign my own death/

This has a very nice pattern to it. Skill is definitly displayed, but i feel as though the "bitch" use takes away from it's intelligence. Not a fan of that snip to be honest, but i guess vocally if delivered correctly i could see it as a release of agression in the piece.

acting 'childish', you a pedophile and I reconcile, too many runnin' track and haven't did a mile
drool and dribble with foolish scribble, immense 'bitter bile'/

I like the lines prior to these two better, but talent still shows. The only problem i have is i dont really understand "you a pedophile and I reconcile".

throwin' sum shots, phones to go dial, yakkin' to friends, you gonna get popped
by one of my spins, I'm cold and I'm hot, tell you again, you old & should not
go & just jott, you won't even win, fold & just stop like oldest of clocks
U haven't been told what I've got

Double rhyming is on fucking point. Very nice, but i feel like "I'm cold and I'm hot" doesn't really fit into what your saying, but merely attributes to the double pattern you have going on. On standalone it makes sense, but in context, it rather throws me off.

ya moment will blow, when you explode in Iraq/
stay wit ya crew Collectively ILL, roll wit the cops, don't go and get shot
hit ya head wit a stone and sum rocks, till it's swole with a knot, you have 'the flu' when it goes in a pot/
BIG GUNS, who's holdin' the glock, GOT KEYS, who opens the lock, NO PUSSY?! I ain't holdin' a cock/
not one to go mock but will blow up ya spot, wit a bow and a sock lit wit explosives in stock

The word play and double rhyming is nicer in this piece than before. I will admit, the "iraq" line throws me off, lost the flow there. I assume your talking to someone in C.I. but to my knowledgenone of them are in Iraq, nor on the way. Best line so far "BIG GUNS, who's holdin' the glock, GOT KEYS, who opens the lock, NO PUSSY?! I ain't holdin' a cock/"

'Leeroi Green' when I punch in his top & stomp in ribs, swallowin' dick will not get you 'tips'
flappin' ya lips and followin' fibs, get thrown off a bridge with a bottle of kids
news be like, he was a model for cigs & "got burnt" for muttering bits and mouthin off biz
that wasn't in his 'best interest', doctor said collect stitches.. Insurance? It was Fed's business

To be honest, i really didnt understand the Leeroi Green part, unless this entire piece was about him, and I was wrong about your C.I. name drop. Rhymes are still on point though. Nice pice overall man. Kudos.

[Kuhlerblynd]

Leeroi Green IS NOT a member of Collectively Ill.

[NoVeL]

Thank you Punchd & didn't mean to ruffle your feathers Murk. I appreciate the feed though.

[FatalX]

Tired of mess, lies and the stress the fire was kept, but truth be known you fear me, perspiring sweat

^^^definately like that well written

from the side of ya neck, you's a bitch, a liar at best/ we'll never see eye to eye cuz I'm higher in depth

^^^^I'm higher in depth---->best line in whole verseNICE!

covetous, desire my less, admire my rep, had to switch the style up to co-sign my own death/

decent...by this far Im glad to see some variety in vocab and wordplay

acting 'childish', you a pedophile and I reconcile, too many runnin' track and haven't did a mile

I think the run a mile line could have been better expressed

drool and dribble with foolish scribble, immense 'bitter bile'/

this put you back on track as far as my attention

throwin' sum shots, phones to go dial, yakkin' to friends, you gonna get popped

ehh

by one of my spins, I'm cold and I'm hot, tell you again, you old & should not

ok

go & just jott, you won't even win, fold & just stop like oldest of clocks

ehhh losing me here

U haven't been told what I've got

what do you got?

ya moment will blow, when you explode in Iraq/

stay wit ya crew Collectively ILL, roll wit the cops, don't go and get shot

I don't know much but looks like a personal...I would have to know more to feed on this

hit ya head wit a stone and sum rocks, till it's swole with a knot, you have 'the flu' when it goes in a pot/

mild multi kept flow tho

BIG GUNS, who's holdin' the glock, GOT KEYS, who opens the lock, NO PUSSY?! I ain't holdin' a cock/

this line could be used against you very easily if someone was beefing with you ....the whole I ain't holding a cock
thing

not one to go mock but will blow up ya spot, wit a bow and a sock lit wit explosives in stock

I like this

'Leeroi Green' when I punch in his top & stomp in ribs, swallowin' dick will not get you 'tips'

NICE!

flappin' ya lips and followin' fibs, get thrown off a bridge with a bottle of kids

bottle of kids?

news be like, he was a model for cigs & "got burnt" for muttering bits and mouthin off biz

good line model for cigs6/10

that wasn't in his 'best interest', doctor said collect stitches.. Insurance? It was Fed's business

ehh....

overall this had enough to keep my attention and some lines that made me a litlle jeolous I didnt write them....especially the whole higher in depth line....good work..keep dropping

[NoVeL]

Thanks for the feed Fatal, it's much appreciated and will be returned.

[Kuhlerblynd]

Thank you Punchd & didn't mean to ruffle your feathers Murk. I appreciate the feed though.

Ruffle my feathers? Lol, not at all. But he's not a member of Collectively Ill.

[QwarterZ]

This was a niiiiiiice piece man
the multi's were pretty crazy here
had a nice flow through out, some cool concepts
a slick little read, I enjoyed it man!
keep writing

acting 'childish', you a pedophile and I reconcile, too many runnin' track and haven't did a mile

drool and dribble with foolish scribble, immense 'bitter bile'/

throwin' sum shots, phones to go dial, yakkin' to friends, you gonna get popped

by one of my spins, I'm cold and I'm hot, tell you again, you old & should not

go & just jott, you won't even win, fold & just stop like oldest of clocks

this was my favorite section
the way it just weaved together
it really stuck out to me maaaan
keep it up!