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Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

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Momeijah
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Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by Momeijah »

I do not condone anything done in this drop lol, all feed will be returned.



Sparkin another smoke, I'm startin to puff and choke
Chest is aching, feels like the start of a fuckin stroke
Got the darkness to cloak me and my hazy expressions
Like for a minute I was doubting all my crazy obsessions
I can't show my team weakness, we're stuck in the deep end
Too far down the line to just say 'fuck it let's leave then'
I'm sly and deceitful in the eyes of my people
I'm the type to blindly lead the guys inside of a deep hole
But they rely on my every word, complying with every nerve
Like every fibre inside them's interwined with a deadly curse
That I spit like a verse, brainwashing with dirt
insane combos of hate and pain blossom to hurt
The corpse lying and frozen in it's last ever moments
Lookin like her brain surfaced her most drastic emotions
Nothin peaceful about it, she died screaming and shouting
She tried pleading with me, like I was easily confounded
I like to feed off the suffering, I've never known why
Who am I to raise questions it's better left there inside
All I know is my mind is like a virus combined
With all the spite inside mankind and violence you'll find
And I accept it fully, how I'm defined as a man
Some are bad, some are good, and some will die by my hand
The world's gonna keep spinning, the Sun's still gonna rise
The moon's still gonna shine, night's chillin ur spine
I'm a young guy, building a useless future at school
A futile exercise obeying the stupidest rules
Line us up to knock us into shape, to fit to the mould
And treat like dirt us kids who don't wanna submit to control
So I'd had it, the principal had fucked me the last time
I had visions of tying his ass upside of the gas lines
...Beating his body beyond identification
And leaving him looking like a fucking mutation

I knew his office, you could even call it my second home
I knew every corner, even the tone that connects the phone
Every smudge on the oak desk, every book in the shelf
Even the safe behind the mirror where he looks at himself
Constantly smelling like coffee, always too hot for me
Always hiding his smokes in the drawer, kept under lock and key
I knew where he kept our files, holders of roil and bloom
I knew the hatch that led to the oily fumes of the boiler room
Soon I planned to make it the place he'd meet with his doom
Staring at cavernous damp walls, greeting his tomb
So I planned, and suddenly something came to my head
Today is the day where he'll stake his claim with the dead
My friends are like me in ways, just pissed at the planet
All tired of keeping up with the shit that's demanded
I gave them my hand, they were reluctant at first
Thinking they were just minor pawns in my gluttonus works
But now they do as I say, and while they still have a conscience
My voice booms above it, and I dismiss it as nonsense
They follow, whatever the consequences may be
Even though what I say can be too intense to believe

Now the plan's come together, it happened at school today
Grabbed this bitch in the bathroom, she cried and she pulled away
Tried to escape, I pulled the blade, she became quiet
Put some tape on her mouth, and fuckin sliced off her eyelids
'Follow me' I said, over the muffled screams and wails
'Make sure the door's locked cause if someone see's we're jailed'
I knew where to go, cause another boiler room door...
Was situated under loose tiles on the bathroom floor
The place was silent and dead, a rotting buried body
Lying under the school, a forgotten, slurry lobby
Rust all on the walls and chips and dust always fallin
Track marks on the floor from ancient stuff that was hauled in
I said fuck it let's kill her here but our chances were borderline
Let's hope everyone falls for the fake out of order sign
That before my guy locked the doors, he put up outside
But it might aswell have read that 'all intruders will die'
We threw her down on the ground, shoved her in mud
Like a demon from a movie, eyes covered in blood
I grabbed my bag, and raked around inside for the salt
Then found it, sandwiched between the twine and the malt
And without a second breath, I poured it onto her face
I'd imagine this stung more than the strongest of mace
It was haunting, I loved it, now my dudes gettin scared
"What's the matter you fag ? It ain't you sittin there !'
Like it was too much to bear, but I ain't carin he stays
And I look back to the chick, while salt buries her face
Pull her pants off, move her to the pipe and tie her to it
And fill her fuckin vagina full of lighter fluid
Set fire to it, a couple seconds later I stamp it out
Her screams would've cracked the walls if I didn't clamp her mouth
Her eyes wide open, both looking like giant holes
I stared right into windows that were bearing a dying soul
I washed out the salt with malt, she violently flailed
Attempting to get loose, she tried but she failed
I laughed, then kicked her in the face till it bruised
My boot covered in blood, she's lying dazed and confused
I grab my blade, and randomly cut shallow around her
Slice her nipples off like I had insurmountable power
I drown her in salt, and fucking laugh in her face
My guy looking at me with eyes like 'that's a disgrace'
I cut her stomach wide open, always been eager to try
And sit back, have a smoke, and just leave her to die

So you wanna know my plan ? Here's how it came to be
Killing the principal just seemed a bit lame to me
I want him to suffer, and it was plain for me to see
That if I killed his girl, he'd live his life with pain and misery
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AKA SCOTCH HALL, MOE MEIJER & MOMEIJAH.
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- Mutual -
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Re: Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by - Mutual - »

long ass drop here man, i read it all though i'm that damm cool :) anyway yeah this was pretty good overall, the detail on it was pretty good painted an image for the reader to imagine i have to say, to sick things imaginable in this drop were great, the flow was consistent all the way through for this long a drop is impressive i have to say also, the multies and vocab were very nice to help this piece,

But they rely on my every word, complying with every nerve
Like every fibre inside them's interwined with a deadly curse

when i read that bar i knew from there that this was going to be a dope piece and yeah i have to say, not alot could of improved this, but there is always room for improvement lol keep this shit coming it was a pretty good read Dom
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!
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pablo1212
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Re: Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by pablo1212 »

This was mad long , but I liked this drop. I could picture almost every single thing you said. The flow would be perfect at times, and you had a lot of dope lines.


"Got the darkness to cloak me and my hazy expressions
Like for a minute I was doubting all my crazy obsessions"

One of my favorite lines.
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Re: Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by complexity »

The imagery on this was absolutely great.

But lyrically it fell off big time on the second and third verse. Some of it felt rushed.

The verses in general were just too long.

"And I accept it fully, how I'm defined as a man
Some are bad, some are good, and some will die by my hand
The world's gonna keep spinning, the Sun's still gonna rise
The moon's still gonna shine, night's chillin ur spine"

^ shit like that was killer

There is also no better way to sharpen your skills then by writing a whole shit load of bars.

If someone else dropped this I'd say this was outstanding. If it was 12 bars shorter. I think I would too.

"I stared right into windows that were bearing a dying soul
I washed out the salt with malt, she violently flailed
Attempting to get loose, she tried but she failed
I laughed, then kicked her in the face till it bruised"

^ more good bars

9/10
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QwarterZ
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Re: Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by QwarterZ »

This was a helluva piece, but well worth the read
I see a lot of great use of rhymes at the same time
the beginning started a lil' slow, but quickly sparked up
which kept me reading, still a nice lil' vibe you had goin' on
a lot of it really helped weave it together but I gotta agree with Plex
the other 2 verses didn't stand out like the earlier half
but it still helped complete it...in a weird way, still...something about it
just screams audio...maybe it's just me...either way a nice drop my dude
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DoggyStylez
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Re: Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by DoggyStylez »

Mad ryme with a mad story theme, i love these types of rymez puttin that scare into ppls....all i'm gonna say is, try an get this on audio bro, i can see it cuttin sick...
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Re: Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by TheNobleOne »

shit was dope yo. very nicely worded and i like your style.
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MonuMental
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Re: Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by MonuMental »

I like to feed off the suffering, I've never known why
Who am I to raise questions it's better left there inside
All I know is my mind is like a virus combined
With all the spite inside mankind and violence you'll find
And I accept it fully, how I'm defined as a man
Some are bad, some are good, and some will die by my hand
The world's gonna keep spinning, the Sun's still gonna rise
The moon's still gonna shine, night's chillin ur spine

Yo, man, I really dug these bars. Some sick statements here.

Entire Second Verse: RIPPED. For real, sick imagery and planning going on here. Dope flows and vocab too.

Same for the third, in my opinion, although I wish I could've read on more torture to the principle. That would have been dope. It was a great drop, anyway, though. With some twisted intents and solid all around delivery. Props.
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]
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Re: Ultra Violence Volume 2: Murder School

Post by Illmadic Prodigy »

pablo1212 wrote:This was mad long , but I liked this drop. I could picture almost every single thing you said. The flow would be perfect at times, and you had a lot of dope lines.


"Got the darkness to cloak me and my hazy expressions
Like for a minute I was doubting all my crazy obsessions"

One of my favorite lines.

i agree wit pablo. Props homie!
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