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Untitled - Just a quick piece
Moderators: Loon E Lou, Kuhlerblynd, Glamtrash, Borat
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- Poetic Juggernaut
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Untitled - Just a quick piece
He is far from civilization
In the jungle of hell he roams
Fire burning everywhere
Lights flash in the distance
The dead lay around him
The wounded scream in pain
He killed several of those men
And wounded many others
Born to fight
Taught to kill
Never imagined
He would be in this hell
Surrounded by death
And the threat of disease
A constant smell of rotting flesh
His eyes burn with tears
Forgotten peace
Denied love
A lonely soldier
Wanting to return home
In the jungle of hell he roams
Fire burning everywhere
Lights flash in the distance
The dead lay around him
The wounded scream in pain
He killed several of those men
And wounded many others
Born to fight
Taught to kill
Never imagined
He would be in this hell
Surrounded by death
And the threat of disease
A constant smell of rotting flesh
His eyes burn with tears
Forgotten peace
Denied love
A lonely soldier
Wanting to return home
- Dead Silence
- God's Given Curse
- Posts: 3303
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2007 9:34 am
- Wins: 6
- Losses: 34
- Location: Bloomsburg, PA
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- Supreme Lyricist
- Posts: 6800
- Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:41 am
- Wins: 67
- Losses: 70
- Location: The Port
He is far from civilization
In the jungle of hell he roams
Fire burning everywhere
Lights flash in the distance
The dead lay around him
The wounded scream in pain
He killed several of those men
And wounded many others
Born to fight
Taught to kill
Never imagined
He would be in this hell
That Was Sick!...
Especially The First 2 Lines
sooo Deep N Soo in Depth...
Good shit
In the jungle of hell he roams
Fire burning everywhere
Lights flash in the distance
The dead lay around him
The wounded scream in pain
He killed several of those men
And wounded many others
Born to fight
Taught to kill
Never imagined
He would be in this hell
That Was Sick!...
Especially The First 2 Lines
sooo Deep N Soo in Depth...
Good shit

- Def-init
- Elite Freestyler
- Posts: 274
- Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:48 am
- Wins: 3
- Losses: 3
- Location: Toronto
LOLMicJordan wrote:not bad, pattern could be better.
You dont need to rhyme in poems man. It is just a nice bonus when there are rhymes in it. Poetry is about metaphor and vivid concepts.
"He is far from civilization
In the jungle of hell he roams
Fire burning everywhere
Lights flash in the distance
The dead lay around him
The wounded scream in pain"
Nice very nice.
- If I can't bend Heaven, I shall move Hell. -
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