Trust Issues

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
PeyotePearl
Potential Emcee
Posts: 41
Joined: Sun May 13, 2012 7:16 am

Trust Issues

Post by PeyotePearl »

This is a rap I wrote and recorded using Drake's instrumental Trust Issues. Check it out! The audio link is at the end.

Damn shit's messed up
I ain't even level like I used to
Used to be on everything
Now I'm just on rain and shame yeah
I gotta a lot to say
Don't know when or how to say it
Try to make 'em see and end up hopelessly
Somewhere lost in an aqua blue sea uh
I wanna believe you're tellin' the truth
Wanna believe this love's gonna last
And I can't understand why I can't change the past
It's just not changin'
Believe me when I say I do
Love you it's more than true
And I wish I could do the same but mothafuckin' pain's
Backstabbed me in the back with a cold steel knife
I wanna say I've changed cause I know I have
But the same pain's chased me down again
And I'm not so glad
Mom, dad, wherever you are I'mma prove to you
that I'm gonna go far
Shit, you couldn't keep me, left me with a note
take good care of this baby take her home
My own tears drop to the ground regrets die hard they make no sound
I'm in it for the game not for the fame
I do it cause I love it for the music runnin' red through my veins
And somehow somewhere I'm gonna make a name
For myself
My real friends I know who they are
They got my back and they keep me goin' hard
Gonna prove to me that I'm worth somethin'
Not the girl I used to be and that's a loss
And the bitterness the fuckin' cost
Amounts to more than you'd think
I've had to rethink over
How to stay sober
Hit rock bottom it wasn't my damn choice
And it hurt like hell felt like I'd lost my voice
Didn't know what to trust and it felt like this was karma for what happened with us
The meds the paranoia it hurt my fuckin' brain
Made me wonder how it was supposed to make me gain I became insane
Get on my level? Shit Just try
You haven't been through the shit I've been through or all the nights that made me cry
I'll admit sometimes I get that feeling where I wanna die
Just lie down and close my eyes
Take a gun, cock it, and say goodbye
But then I remind myself
That perseverance makes perfection
And I'm not giving this rap game up no discretion
I've learned my lesson
But still there's more
I'm forced to consider walking out this damn door
But to tear out these pages hurts like tearin' out gages
And I'm full of rage
Maybe someday I can forgive maybe one day I'll forget
But nothin' kills me more than all this regret
I've got his heart locked up in my chest
Keeps me alive and that's what's best
I don't wanna admit I depend on you but I know it to be true
Uh
Your love is priceless with no price tag attached
Value it more than life itself but some part of me remains detached
Yeah,
Life is crazy and I know sometimes what's fucked up gets hazy
But I'mma live it up, live it to the fullest take nothing for granted
and have something to show for it.

http://soundcloud.com/peyotepearl/trust-issues
Image

User avatar
Reminiscent
Rookie
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue May 15, 2012 8:15 am

Re: Trust Issues

Post by Reminiscent »

I like this, it's real and emotional. I don't exactly like the "uh" and "yeah" throughout the whole thing. It'd sound a lot better listened than read. I say for written pieces, you should exclude those and have those when you record. Other than that this piece is real talk. Good stuff

User avatar
AntiMaTTer
Army Of Three
Posts: 716
Joined: Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:52 am
Wins: 16
Losses: 1
Contact:

Re: Trust Issues

Post by AntiMaTTer »

its str8 not my cup of tea per-se but its aite.
it just sounds sorta drab and monotone to me though and is
hard for me to vibe with it. work on the structure of your lyrics
to the beat more so you dont Force/Rush your lines with it
sounding unnatural. its going to take a lot of practice and hard work
but once you start to make progress you will pick up on it faster.
Image

IL record:
16-1

User avatar
Ambiguous Realm
Army Of Three
Posts: 3522
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:57 pm
Wins: 46
Losses: 14
No Shows: 2
Location: Earth
Contact:

Re: Trust Issues

Post by Ambiguous Realm »

^ ^ what he said, i won't judge it lyrically since im kinda picky about lyrical content, i enjoy creative and clever lines mixed with a good rhymescheme of a minimum 3 syllables to keep me content, preferably 4 at the least, but anyhow.. like i said before, try to imitate another, and learn from that, and don't think of it as you're just a copycat, it's a temporary process to gain your balance, or at least have understanding of it, our styles develop on its own from the way we carry ourselves and sometimes change throughout the course of our lives as we mature, gain knowledge, and become more comfortable with ourselves and our surroundings, keep it up, what may seem out of reach is closer than you think
Image

Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests