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Think you could play mind games?
I'm sane.. you Define shame
Painted across a time frame
ya time came now it's time you left
due to all the time you kept, me away
from my direction.. my perfection
instead you'd rise depression
talking about you'll teach me.. try a lesson
won't ride the sad track..i'll never cry a session
you just Couldn't see..We shouldn't be
Pushing me.. my mind you just wouldn't Free..
You're use to hearing my footsteps
well i'm closer to disappearing, not even a Foot left
Between us, the Dreams up..We seem Stuck
i'll take your Possession Of Me like a Prenup
sweep the dirt under the rug looking Clean cut
Continue.. with the bullshit in you, I won't scream what
i'll just roll away like four twentyin that green stuff
my remedy to cope is to get high and float
leave Memories in Smoke, everything's all set I'm ta quote
I don't pretend to see some hope or won't be Friendly ta ya NOPE..
You'll have no presence in my life you're eventually a ghost..
damn man... this whole piece was nice bro... felt this was more spoken word tho... either way it came off illy... i liked all of it from start to finish... flowed real well... would sound dope on audio... when you gettin back in the booth again??? this piece was killer man...
Don't Let The Game Make U, Make Urself
Lawgix
Illest Radio
"Sometimes You Gotta Stand By Your Failures To Recognize Your Success" Joe Budden
pest wrote:You look Easy... Whats Good?
AntiMaTTer wrote:lmao ...is this how you hit on all the chicks?
Think you could play mind games?
I'm sane.. you Define shame
Painted across a time frame
ya time came now it's time you left
due to all the time you kept, me away
from my direction.. my perfection
instead you'd rise depression nice..like the flow here. the multis are nice and makes me wana read more
talking about you'll teach me.. try a lesson
won't ride the sad track..i'll never cry a session
you just Couldn't see..We shouldn't be
Pushing me.. my mind you just wouldn't Free.. digging this last line here... you really got a good joe budden
style i think and you do it proper
You're use to hearing my footsteps
well i'm closer to disappearing, not even a Foot left
Between us, the Dreams up..We seem Stuck
i'll take your Possession Of Me like a Prenup
sweep the dirt under the rug looking Clean cut
Continue.. with the bullshit in you, I won't scream what
i'll just roll away like four twentyin that green stuff getting even grimmier on the flow here
my remedy to cope is to get high and float
leave Memories in Smoke, everything's all set I'm ta quote
I don't pretend to see some hope or won't be Friendly ta ya NOPE..
You'll have no presence in my life you're eventually a ghost.. good verse haz i think you made lot of progress compared to when i first joined the site, your flows gotten cleaner but still try to work on the verse being cohesive and make sense, sometimes you sacrifice flow for content but i still see what youre talking about so thats all that matters. good stuff keep em coming
I see you, flow was on point
complexity wasn't there - seemed a bit basic (the approach - including vocab and what not)
Although the flow did make this piece good, you had your good lines in there. a few filler spots, none the less enjoyably to read
Enjoyable to the eye and i agree with the spoken word, def had that feel - your good on the flow just try to get your ideas leaving a harder impact with some creativity and you'll be on point ---
didnt quite have the same flow after the first couple of lines..or if it did i couldnt really catch it.. wich was a shame but i still liked an enjoyed it. it describes the majority of women perfectly coz we all know bitches love to play head games...
overall nice piece but i felt if it could have had more metaphors an powerful adjectives an more complex lyrics it could have been a dope written .. work more an spend more time an effort on it man its got potential theres obviously lots of pent up thoughts about that bitch otherwise you wouldnt try to cloud your memories of her with smokin green.. or maybe im readin to deep into this lol im higgh as fuck right now soz for the essay.. nice post haz
This was a pretty nice piece my dude, I'm feeling the vibe
the flow was on point in the beginning but towards the other half
it started losing it's touch...regardless..theres a lot of nice one liners here
i'll take your Possession Of Me like a Prenup
^^^^^^that line was nice
you should add to this and drop a beat in the back breh
I bet a lot of people can relate to this...nice drop Haz
