The Light

[Defiance]

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A song I've been working on.

[Haz]

Yoo Defiance, I Liked this Song dude. Your Flow, The Topic , The Beat ,
Delivery was all on Point. I would say you have to be Louder, "more emotion as some would put it" .. Go Smoother but Louder If that make's sense.. and like when your "ending punchline" comes.. Show more Charisma, you know.
Other then that I'm impressed man , Keep It up.

[littlefranky]

beat is pretty tite.
u got a real distinct delivery and it went quite well with the beat.
u had pretty nice lyrics, some of the actual rhymes felt a bit basic. but regardless i could still feel ur lyrics. and u had some good diction within lines. second verse it felt like ur flow got off for a couple lines but u picked it back up and ended it on point. overall pretty good track.

[Defiance]

thanks for the feed fellas upping

[Alvin]

beats nice man, i like it, nice smooth talk intro, Quality is much better man, i think you should turn it down a bit, compressor is real aggressive here, so turn down lol... Some parts felt odd, like second verse "beating on me..." felt short on syllables... also, whats up with the hook? doesn't sound like it was made with the beat, but it doesn't sound like you either... this had more of a SPM feel when you normally sound like Cypress hill, its odd, id never think you're white lol. Words, pretty good man, nice vocab, some basic delivery like stated above, but a nice balance. You're getting much much better man, props.

[Lawgix]

i feel the lyrics but i'm not really feelin the delivery... i think you need to work on that and mic presence... the beat was way too low... your vocals drowned it out... the mix on ur vocals was okay but turn the beat up... anyways good lyrical content was feelin the words... flow was kinda strange here and there guess u ran out of syllables... but either way man its a good way to get ya game up bro... keep it up

[Cyan]

Your voice is so tight man ... You're exerting so much effort to maintain that Twizted sound that it's killing the inflection that all great rappers have. You gotta losin' up bro!

The BEST advice that I've ever gotten in regards to my music came from from a friend of mine who probably never bought a hip-hop album in his life. He came into my room, listened to half a track I wanted to spit for him, cut me off with a frustrated look and said, "Just sound like yourself man." and walked out ....

That stuck with me.

[AntiMaTTer]

^^^ yea dude but people are different and should experiment with different deliverys in order to find that comfort zone. but i agree you should just try to sound as yourself but Defiance does have a grimey voice like myself.
itll take a while to get your flow opened up and to find the steez that fits you but just keep working at it, ima just keep laying tracks down until i get the shit right, practice is elevation.

and i think this track was dope, some choppy parts and mixing stuff isnt something to focus on at this stage youre at, thatll come with time. the lyrics were really good and i felt it was appropriate to the beat. stay at it man, we'll get up on some more tracks too.
1

[Defiance]

Solid feed guys/.. yeah I've been working on the presence thing for a while.. i think i've been getting better.. the reason my voice sounds the way it does. is because i kinda have a higher pitched natural voice which doesn't translate very well but thanks guys.

[Dream]

Nice beat. I really like it.
But, I think it should be a little louder.

Nice lyrics.

I think you need to concentrate on your delivery,
You sounded kind of boring. No offense..
Put a little more emotion & "UMPH!" behind the words!
Really feel what you are saying..

Overall, nice track!

<3

[Cyan]

@ Antimatter - I hear you ... and agree ... experimenting is good ... but I still think it's a great general rule of thumb to get as close to yourself as possible. Sounding like (~fill in the blank~) is way easier than sounding like yourself.

@ Defiance - I'm not trying to bust you up. I've got no interest in that. What's wrong with a higher voice man? Loads of successful MC's squeeze their voice to make it higher than their actual speaking voice. Like, almost all of them actually. It records better from what I understand. Low voices fall back into the mix. High pops out of instrumentals. Play around with that. I'd like to hear it.

[TreTru]

Well you're still elevating so ill say quality is up.. the final mixx seems a lil soft imo ..most of the lyrics were alright but I'd probably go with a lil more aggressive approach..al in all
tho way to step up ya sound brah ...


http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/hip-h ... 25119.html

^^^
Link for RTF..

[Loose Logic]

beats cool... the lyrics were nice. flow was a bit choppy i think due to the delivery you chose to use.. it makes it less smooth and a bit choppy.. but i like the idea you got going... just perfect it... your voice has alot of potential to be very dope and commanding over the beat.

keep at it.. this wasnt bad for not being mixed down man.
enjoyed it.