senile felines, was it a bar or a bat i saw,
snug&raw was i ere i saw war&guns,
Revered now I live on. O did I do no evil, I wonder ever?.
Do Good's deeds live on? No, Evil's deeds do, O God. Reviled did I live, said I, as evil I did deliver.
Doom an evil deed, liven a mood,
God, a red nugget A fat egg under a dog.
No lemons, no melon. No it is opposition,
Drab as a fool, as aloof as a bard.
now sir a war is won. < + >
-- Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:47 am --
<+>
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Re: <+>
Kida all over the place. Subject wise.
Structure wasnt as bad second time around. I read this in the sb.
Come up with a subject and stick to it.
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Structure wasnt as bad second time around. I read this in the sb.
Come up with a subject and stick to it.
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- Glamtrash
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Re: <+>
Thanks lol.
interesting topic choice. Mediocre vocabulary, and short. It shouldn't be both unless you know it can stand to.
Keep em comin, kid.
[ Post made via Android ]
interesting topic choice. Mediocre vocabulary, and short. It shouldn't be both unless you know it can stand to.
Keep em comin, kid.
[ Post made via Android ]
Re: <+>
It's very hard to write a good palindromic verse. For what it is I would say it's alright, still kinda sketchy, you did do better with it then I could. I think you should keep trying cause it will only get better with practice.
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[ Post made via Windows Smartphone ]
POET OF THE YEAR 2011
I'm often soft like cotton but my message is clear, my words hold weight like "dumbos" ears.
I'm often soft like cotton but my message is clear, my words hold weight like "dumbos" ears.
Re: <+>
Hm.
Honestly, I was confused.
As the others wrote, it's all over the place.
Try to keep on one subject. Kill it.
God, a red nugget A fat egg under a dog.
Sorry, that line made me giggle. =D
Props.
[center]
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.[/center]
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.[/center]
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