Murderous Goodbyes.

Expand your artistic ability through poetry and story telling. Poetry has been given new life ever since the inception of hip hop. Relax for a minute and explore your poetic side here.

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Glamtrash
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Murderous Goodbyes.

Post by Glamtrash »

From the outside looking in
She must look quite alone
You must sit and look at her in
That house she tries to make a home.
I bet you think she thinks it's just for now
Tells herself you're coming home
But from the front porch , you can't see
And that front porch does get cold.

But place your hand against the window
And she too will touch the glass
Close your eyes and remember when
You both thought it'd last
When minutes apart felt like decades
And a kiss could cure the pain
Take back your hand and walk away
Before the guilt drives you insane

Through the glass you see a mother
A baby boy cuddled at her breast
She looks at him the way she looked at you
When you laid on her chest
And you know she's thinking of you
And the memories of you and her
She's blocked out all the cruel things
Because they made her unsure
And you knew one day it'd hit you
You knew one day it'd hurt
And all the others didn't hold a candle
To the way you looked at her
She never looked at another
Never wanted what was green
And when your arms were wrapped around her
She really did believe .
You know her glass slippers are buried in the closet
And Disney holds only sin
But if you knock upon her door
You also know she'll let you in
And she'll hand the baby to you
With a twinkle in her eye
First is not forever
And you killed her with goodbye .

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Ambiguous Realm
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Post by Ambiguous Realm »

niceee i liked the ending themost.. crazy punchline... with a twinkle in her eye firs tis not forever n u killed her with goodbye haha.. good shit

its pretty depressing but that always suits me
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LadySam
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Post by LadySam »

this was great. i always love what you write.
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Cee4
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Post by Cee4 »

this was nice. im not really a big fan of poetry but you definitly have talent. i dont read as much of your stuff as i should but there always on some dark, real shit which i like. good work keep droppin
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Arvincible
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Post by Arvincible »

wow this was incredible.

i loved the emotion, and i really felt this mannn,
i seemed to have pictured myself goin through this and i was getting really depressed with myself

It was a vivid image and a great metaphor about the window and the porch...really beautiful writing

9/10 peace
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daTruth
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Post by daTruth »

love da piece, could feel yo emotion through ya words, continue on cuz ya very talented

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HKX
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Post by HKX »

i like wat u did wit dis emotion was on point topic was sick u got off mad props 2 u

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Momeijah
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Post by Momeijah »

Yeah Like Arv Said The Window And Porch Metaphor Was Sick. The Whole Thing Was Like Eerie And Full Of Dread To Me, And That Takes Talent So Word. That's Something i Try To Put into Shit i Write Whether it Be Poems, Stories, Raps, Or Even Melodies, Having The Atmosphere Coming With it. Good Shit.
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Omega Bill
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Post by Omega Bill »

Truely beautiful. Like Arv said about the metaphors, takes talent to write something about that and give meaning. Like your other drop I just fed all your pieces take the reader through this emotional ride in their own brain.

I don't know about an eerie feeling, but listenening to Nine Inch Nails - Closer's breakdown really gave a whole new element to reading this.
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Glamtrash
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Re: Murderous Goodbyes.

Post by Glamtrash »

.

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IntrinsicCadence
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Re: Murderous Goodbyes.

Post by IntrinsicCadence »

Awesome piece here. The way you bring out the imagery and the emotion is pretty damn profound (sorry about all the 'p's there, hope you can at least read p's since u can't write em lol). I hope you write some new pieces, figure it's been two/three years since u first dropped some of these, imagine ur writting skill has been continuing to evolve.
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Glamtrash
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Re: Murderous Goodbyes.

Post by Glamtrash »

I've moved on to writing lays and novels haha. which is really hard to ost while missing 2 letters of the abc's and only being able to ost 5000 characters at a time. Hoefully soon.

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Skunkle Sam
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Re: Murderous Goodbyes.

Post by Skunkle Sam »

Poetry is very black/white to me. I either love it or hate it. I love this. It was easy to get sucked in to, the emotion of the piece is alive. Thank you for sharing it.
Not immortal, I just forgot how to die

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Riggz
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Re: Murderous Goodbyes.

Post by Riggz »

I know folks don't get poetry alot, but I used to go down to Apache Cafe in Atlanta on Friday evenings and listen to spoken word and just chill. You really get into it when it's done with character and emotion. And this is one of those pieces I got into. Read this part aloud;

But place your hand against the window
And she too will touch the glass
Close your eyes and remember when
You both thought it'd last
When minutes apart felt like decades
And a kiss could cure the pain
Take back your hand and walk away
Before the guilt drives you insane


That's real inspiring DeeDee.
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NoVeL
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Re: Murderous Goodbyes.

Post by NoVeL »

Through the glass you see a mother
A baby boy cuddled at her breast
She looks at him the way she looked at you
When you laid on her chest
And you know she's thinking of you
And the memories of you and her
She's blocked out all the cruel things
Because they made her unsure
And you knew one day it'd hit you
Applied To Me

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