Off my chest

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DaPrince
Rhyme Master
Posts: 208
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:50 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 1
Location: TX

Off my chest

Post by DaPrince »

Sometimes it feels like I'm just going through the motions
my heart's not really in it, it's like my chest is open
and with every passing day it leaks and I lose emotion
so tell me how can I fix it when I don't know how it got broken,
but I'm hoping that this time spent, with my mind and my pen
will be enough to let the healing begin
cuz i seen friends fall away like walls in Berlin
all over shit that shouldn't matter but it happens again (and again)
I don't know why. Maybe it's fate
maybe it's written in the stars that my heart has to break
thats why a part of me would always rather be up in space
but since I can't fly, to get high I like to blaze
is that why they hate? please tell me come on
they take a look at my life and say you're doing it wrong
it's like they think I'm a fortnight, too weak and not strong
a force on the mic? nah your rhymes are all wrong
the lines that you've spawned cause us to yawn
the scribbles you've drawn, fade like ripples on ponds
you're playin chess with all pawns...
well check it, fuck it, I'm gone
I don't drop rhymes all the time, but when I do, I prefer to spit fire

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Dream
Dedicated Emcee
Posts: 99
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:04 am
Location: East Coast, Canada

Re: Off my chest

Post by Dream »


I like it.

It's very simply written..
Flowed decently.

Some lines kind of confused me.
They seemed very random.

But, I like how you personalized it.

Props.
[center]Image

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.[/center]

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