the snowman

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MohammedT
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the snowman

Post by MohammedT »

I looked outside and the white snow reminded me of moscow on a freezing day.
the ice unmovable was as stiff and firm as Sadaam at the height of his tyranny.
Many days and weeks have gone by and not a single soul is out cheering or sledding down hills.
Until one day I stopped looking from my window and grabbed a coat.
Oh I forgot my mittens. How silly of me.
How else would I compact all of this slushy snow into a ball?
I kept rolling it. I use to roll down hills when I was little.
a little boy started helping me. and then another and then another
until finally the streets were full of little kids trying to build this snowman.
Ah, at last!
'look at the size of that thing!"
and what a trophy it was.
the next morning i returned to that window and all of the snow evaporated even our snowman.
hmm is all I could say.
then I remembered summer will be here shortly.

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Alvin
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Re: the snowman

Post by Alvin »

the ice unmovable was as stiff and firm as Sadaam at the height of his tyranny
^ thats a hard ass line man

Nice little piece man, good story. First lines made it seem dark and miserable, but ended almost in a happy note. Pretty cool

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TheNobleOne
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Re: the snowman

Post by TheNobleOne »

not a bad little poetry piece man. kind of a short read but not bad.

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MohammedT
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Re: the snowman

Post by MohammedT »

just so yall know i was trying to write a poem about soviet russia, however, it's interchanable really with any revolution that didn't turn out the way the people imagined.

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Kuhlerblynd
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Re: the snowman

Post by Kuhlerblynd »

Nice, this builds from something that could have been really deep and one sided into a piece thats more favorable and related by the reader. Very hard to do, but you did it well here. Just words spoken in a solid form, with a great twist. Nicely done.
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Glamtrash
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Re: the snowman

Post by Glamtrash »

It's short and sweet and I really like the concet of it. Good job.

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