1st drop, not sure where i fit. FEEDBACK?

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blokB
Micless
Posts: 202
Joined: Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:50 pm
Losses: 1
Location: Sacramento, California

1st drop, not sure where i fit. FEEDBACK?

Post by blokB »

Im on a fast food, caffine, and niccotine binger
add the alchohol-amphetamine-DMT dinner
Mix a midnight snack filled with god knows what and coke
"Ill quit when I want!" "What addiction?" "Thats a joke"

I love the time of breakfast
but what sounds good?
Perhaps some psylocibin tea?
Top it off with wormwood?
No no Ill have some toast
with this really green butter
Ya ya Ill add some eggs shit this
just sounds too much like supper

So Ill break fast
Fuck break-FAST

Ill have a poison poppy brunch
think that should keep me cool till lunch
But just as i approach about eleven-thirty
My tummy judge ruled exclaimed
"We have a hung jury!"
Six to six dead locked at starving and outa drugs
with only twenty bucks and change
three cigarettes and no more buzz

Defendant answer!

Just shrugs

From a lack of hugs and bowls of was
Creating perceptions perceived than lost
Blaming under-the-counter drugs
So overcompensate with a stout forty ounce of suds
soon after realize there goes my twenty sack of buds

As they mug....

I calmly walk past...

Realizing notebook or not just
one wrong look could be your last
Cause when your from a different hood
all simialarities are smashed
Sport the wrong color skin
forget your shirt, shoes, and hat

I dont match

But Ive seen this in the past

Fell off the horse again
Create another chase of sack

Try breaking free with memories
of ways she kept me on a path
Kept me clean of poison things
"I WANT GLORY FILLED DAYS BACK!"

Grow tired of smack and
tired of the same circle-shaped track
Tired of chasing an off colored dragon
when you know where he's at
Tired of facing the facts Yell
"FUCK THE WHERE AND WHEN!"
Its time to move on.............

Bro.?.?.?.?.?.?.?

For Gods sake You heard it from your pen!

Then again its hard to win
Down to two cigs or fewer
Low on ends I snatch a re-fry
from an overcrowded sewer
Carry on my mission
"Not yet you see the dope mans house is newer"
Tell my legs "dont worry boys its less later than sooner"

At this point its gotta be like
six or seven forty-five
Considering the lack of porch lights
on my left and right sides
With no where to hide if dinner just
decided to pop off
I change my rhyme scheme in hopes
to catch em mid cough

I may be soft.....
Perhaps im a sort of pacifist but
dont you think i still wont pass a fist
into a man if savage hits
Ill play the little cabbage kid
In hopes a harder talent hits
then swallow em whole like pills coped
from M.A.D.D mothers while poundin gyn

I DONT GIVE A FUCK KIDS!

If im fallin off track
Because this rhymes about my life
Ill bring it back with a CRACK
Should i stop now? Runnin outta paper plate fast!?!?
Fuck the dumb shit i still have yet to get my smoke stack

I yell "Im back"
Dudes like "You got my borrowed money?"
I swear it was a joke was like
"Dawg that shit is funny"
"No for real! You got my fuckin
paper or not?" he said
"Shit bro I left my wallet, my bad... ive lost my head"

Luke warm turns to boil
Longer walk to safer soil
Come to terms with the fact
that my entire life was burnt on foil
Running is out considering
im high on hash oil
So i grab another plate and mimic
Sir Arthur Conan Doye

I dont know exactly where to end this verse but
ive learned being stuck in a land of pretend is worse
I kept Dixie in business thats a plus "ECONOMY TWIRK!"
Now i just prey they send me my so hard earned shirt.

blokB
nov 17 2010
We must always and forever have hip-hops best interest at heart. We must allow ourselves to be critical of the music and culture so that ideas and beliefs that aren’t progressive can be eliminated and made unattractive to our youth. Our allegiance to Hip Hop has to be about more than romanticized ideas of misogyny, materialism, murder and mayhem. Instead our allegiances must be rooted in what we individually and collectively determine beneficial. The story of misogyny, materialism, murder and mayhem doesn’t end well. We’ve got proof. Doing what one believes is individually and collectively beneficial may allow for a better ending. Or better yet, no ending at all.
C.I Truth

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MonuMental
Hairy Scoundrel
Posts: 528
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2011 9:09 pm
Location: Leland, MS

Re: 1st drop, not sure where i fit. FEEDBACK?

Post by MonuMental »

Yo, bruh, I saw that noone had commented and I was interested, cause noone even commented on my first post, so i was like i'll check it out. It's deep, bruh. I like the way you switch the flow and catch it when it's seeming to drop. I'm also really feeling the subject matter. I been there, too, bruh. Keep it up, dude.
[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]

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