In Memory Pt. 1
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- Glamtrash
- Poetic Juggernaut
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- Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 3:42 pm
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- Location: Where the Treetops Kiss the Stars
In Memory Pt. 1
The phone rings for the 50th time that day
on the other end's that fuckin slut claira-mae
Now I ain't saw or heard from this bitch in years
Since we was partyin, n I drank too many beers
Beat the bitch senseless, and left her in tears.
N as she spoke to me, still, her voice filled with fear.
"Can I talk to the husband?" I hear her say
"He's sleepin bitch, what the fuck you want anyway?"
"Here's my number, make sure he calls me, it's really important"
So I write the shit down, bite my lip, hang up the phone and
Wake up the husband, "Claire called, somethin's up"
He says, "Why the fuck would I wanna talk to that slut?"
and goes back to sleep, I pace, He wakes up and calls her
His face while she spoke looked of shock, pain, and horror.
He hangs up the phone, looks at me with tears in his eyes.
"Dal's dead, Died last night." "What happened?" I reply.
"No one knows yet, but he got locked up last week
And when he called his moms, he said he got beat
pretty bad this time, when they caught his ass"
Now you gotta understand, Dal's got quite the past
In n our of jail since he was 12 years old,
Anything you ever needed, one of us sold.
But I left that behind me a long time ago,
My eyes filled with tears, but i couldn't show
him how much i hurt, i had to be strong
Be a soldier, blink em back, n act like nothings wrong.
"The funeral's tomorrow, pack your shit, bus leaves four in the morning"
I pack, call my work, and give them the warning
"I'm taking tomorrow off, the next couple days too,
I have to go bury one of the crew."
on the other end's that fuckin slut claira-mae
Now I ain't saw or heard from this bitch in years
Since we was partyin, n I drank too many beers
Beat the bitch senseless, and left her in tears.
N as she spoke to me, still, her voice filled with fear.
"Can I talk to the husband?" I hear her say
"He's sleepin bitch, what the fuck you want anyway?"
"Here's my number, make sure he calls me, it's really important"
So I write the shit down, bite my lip, hang up the phone and
Wake up the husband, "Claire called, somethin's up"
He says, "Why the fuck would I wanna talk to that slut?"
and goes back to sleep, I pace, He wakes up and calls her
His face while she spoke looked of shock, pain, and horror.
He hangs up the phone, looks at me with tears in his eyes.
"Dal's dead, Died last night." "What happened?" I reply.
"No one knows yet, but he got locked up last week
And when he called his moms, he said he got beat
pretty bad this time, when they caught his ass"
Now you gotta understand, Dal's got quite the past
In n our of jail since he was 12 years old,
Anything you ever needed, one of us sold.
But I left that behind me a long time ago,
My eyes filled with tears, but i couldn't show
him how much i hurt, i had to be strong
Be a soldier, blink em back, n act like nothings wrong.
"The funeral's tomorrow, pack your shit, bus leaves four in the morning"
I pack, call my work, and give them the warning
"I'm taking tomorrow off, the next couple days too,
I have to go bury one of the crew."
- Viral
- Mentally Unstable
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i like it...like rhino said flows is a little off here n there...but overall the story to it was good...sorry bout da loss..ill keep on a look out for da others u might be droppin...
___________________________
This shits Bananas!
youll never believe this!
Insanity-Spits wen Reality-Hits
http://www.myspace.com/viralishere
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- -TraMaTiK-
- Unstoppable Emcee
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this was mad nice..i liked it..cuz personally story telling songs is my thing..i love em 2..but u displayed a good amount of detail in this good job,i cant pick out any lines in perticular there were like shocking..but this was reall good overall i wanna see part 2 and possibly make a story up with u with a better storyline then the last one we did lol! haha..good shit Shanda,peace
pretty good topical piece, i liked it shanda, yer gonna get pretty sick if you keep at it,
definately not a bad job tellin Dallas's story
rhymes were simple, flow was off here n there just cause of the odd sorta forced rhyme
overall, good read tho
definately not a bad job tellin Dallas's story
rhymes were simple, flow was off here n there just cause of the odd sorta forced rhyme
overall, good read tho
facin me? its mission impossible, like pickin up lesbian broads
fuck all these thespian frauds, they "bug me" like espionage
yeah this was good. like someone said it had good detail and you could picture it. i prefer these kinda "real" drops to most of the shit people drop. i was started doing a verse like this a while back bout someone i know that got killed but i gave up on it cause it was kinda shit. these kinda verses are hard cause u gotta the emotion and detail right and u did that well so props.
at The Start The Flow Was Great Until The 'it's Really important' Line.
Loved The Way u Set The Scene in This, Something i Like Doing With My Drops, So Props On That Because u Pulled it Off Nicely. Adding Dialogue Was a Good idea Aswell, And How u Described The Slut Chick Haha. So The imagery Was There. Rhymescheme Was Better Than ur Other Shit And The Flow Was Good For The Most Part. Keep it Up ur Getting Better.
~+~Shanda~+~ Eager, But Not Porno Style Eager....More Like...14 Year Old Boy Getting Head For The First Time Eager says:
"'domino is teh mastaer'"
^^ Uh Huh.
Loved The Way u Set The Scene in This, Something i Like Doing With My Drops, So Props On That Because u Pulled it Off Nicely. Adding Dialogue Was a Good idea Aswell, And How u Described The Slut Chick Haha. So The imagery Was There. Rhymescheme Was Better Than ur Other Shit And The Flow Was Good For The Most Part. Keep it Up ur Getting Better.
~+~Shanda~+~ Eager, But Not Porno Style Eager....More Like...14 Year Old Boy Getting Head For The First Time Eager says:
"'domino is teh mastaer'"
^^ Uh Huh.
AKA SCOTCH HALL, MOE MEIJER & MOMEIJAH.
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