Father Time (Probably the dopest thing I've ever written)

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NeverOddOrEven
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Father Time (Probably the dopest thing I've ever written)

Post by NeverOddOrEven » Sat May 26, 2012 2:38 am

Left feed for:
topic-battle-old-vt18105.html
justice-for-ma-n-i-g-g-a-trayvon-vt25932.html

And I don't want to come off as hyping my own shit because that's not what I'm about, but I take a lot of pride in this piece, so I think you guys will enjoy this shit a lot.

[center]Father Time

Love this world, but not ready to start callin it mine
Cuz that ownership hardly applies when all I can find
Are cliche questions that turn into insomnia rhymes
What are these thoughts in my mind?
Wished something dropped from the sky that brought me a sign
So I know whether or not it's something God could design
Am I just a notch in the twine used for a biological climb
80 years and 5 senses from my heart and my spine
Stuck chasin dumb girls cuz that's how we survive
Her cells and mine creating a new product of life
Start to lose erotic drives after my daughter's alive
So my body can die and start rotting inside
Allowing room the future to evolve to the sky
Reverse the Big Bang once all of the stars realign
While it's guarding a shrine not even Hawking could find
Maybe it's all in my mind, maybe it's all a surprise
Don't even really know why I bother cuz I
Will not be alive to see the rest of the plot intertwine
If wisdom's a fruit, how come only Adam's gotten a bite?
I ain't that smart of a guy and that's hard just to write
Guess I'm sayin I kinda feel like Mufasa cuz I
Am about to fuckin die from the Scars in my pride
My clock starts to wind, day becomes part of the night
And I can't help but wonder about the Father of Time
It's like we're orphans and Mother Nature adopted our kind
Giving us free choice and unlimited options to try
We repay her by burning fuels from fossils in mines
Carbon monoxide
Ocean pollution from the garbage in tides
All so greedy people can have the most dollars and dimes
WE feed the stomach of the mall enterprise
$!$! Dolce and Gabbana $! GOTTA get that Prada design!
Gotta look ballin and fly for those Hollister guys
It's Halloween! I need a slutty costume to buy
Plus, it's half off on all college supplies!
And I need an Iphone so I can Draw Something nice
Shop till you drop and every credit card is declined
America's True Religion's consumerism -- it's starting to rise
But we can change, that's why it's awesome there's science
So maybe I'll walk up and sign with Darwin and Dawkins tonight
Get on my Bill Mahr and George Carlin comedy grind?
Pushing thousands of martyrs and prophets off to the side?
Disregarding their "type" as a comical sight
Those who use mythological might to conquer a fight
That seems to be what my scientific audience likes
But just cuz it's popular hype, does NOT mean it's right
We put our faith in a government with bombs that ignite
And a science community that gives meth rocks to our mice
I'm confused -- so, blind faith is always alright?
Just not in a guy who got nailed to a cross out of spite
A man who spread love and modeled how to be kind?
Why do we blindly trust anything, but not when it's Christ?
Dogma is blind, but so is everyone who got in a line
Walking behind ideas that are too tall for their eyes
If you wanted to try, you could've copped some advice
From Kant or Latreille, maybe even Konig or Nei
And is it that much more plausible to hypothesize
That an ancient isotropic device got too hot in the sky
Which made the cosmos divide, spreading comets and light
With no explanation of why we are conscious alive?!
Dogma aside, we as humans are wrong to decide
Don't know why our species thinks we're so awesome and wise
If that's true, we wouldn't ask; it'd be OBVIOUS WHY
And blindly believing science is a philosophical crime
Hey -- at least it makes you the perfect amount of hollow inside
So your hypocrisy shines when you start mocking their lives
At least they got faith and love when they follow in stride
Shit, doesn't anyone remember why Socrates died?!
So we'd be free to discover what curiosity finds?
Not victimized by marketing lies that proctor our lives
C'mon guys -- you really think all doctors are nice?
That's like believing just because Obama presides
All our problems will hide like oil's skyrocketing price
Published science is doctrine they type with modules they like
Using "correlative" data -- nothing's causal, alright?
It's based upon only 5 percent of our prominent finds
While 95 % of knowledge in life that's possibly fine
Gets tossed to the side faster than I could pocket a dime
A lot of the time, even publications are fraudulent crimes!
See, McDonalds will sign one of those lobbying guys
Giving us barely edible food as long as Congress don't mind
They lower the cost of the price, so their profits will rise
Then get a "trusted" scientist to say it's top of the line
WHAT?!
The sauce and the fries make me vomit inside
The patties look like plastic shit nuggets from Optimus Prime
But if you're poor... guess where you'll probably dine?!
THAT'S why we're dyin, so don't deny that pharmacologists lie!
Man, if these thoughts never crossed through my mind
I wouldn't have replaced bottles of Sprite with gin and tonic with ice
Sober now, but fuck it -- let the alcoholics unite
I smoke cigarettes, stressed
Cuz I don't make any cents
Literally, so I've been thinkin about gettin a vest
So I don't get clipped in the chest
As I walk into a bank, and start clickin' the tech
Watchin bodies drop softly like they're hittin the deck
Then go to the register, I gotta lot of shit to collect
Then go sit at a desk, transfer my currency to Dominican checks
Is my thinking limited? Yes. I'm riskin my neck
If I get caught, I'm goin to fuckin prison at best
But if I don't, I can finally live with no stress
Liquor and sex, Sippin the best, Pretty girls strippin their dress
Better than workin 9 to 5's on an infinite quest
For American Dreams, ya trippin if that's somethin you think that you'll get
So as long as people control me, I'll never stop smoking
I will never work a 9 to 5, you should stop joking
If you think I'll follow customs, you do not know me
You gotta better chance to stop Koney or block Kobe
I wanna travel the world with a bad ass girl
Doing my part to even economic status in the world
Learning from cultures and teaching other people too
With no phones to hide my face -- only me and you
And never purchase and consume unless there's a reason to
I ain't dumb, I know money's something to think about
But that don't mean that I can't get it through a different route
And one day my clock will unwind, and my days will be night
These thoughts won't matter and there will be peace in my mind
And I will finally return to the Father of Time[/center]
Last edited by NeverOddOrEven on Mon May 28, 2012 8:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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CBK
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Re: Father Time (Probably the dopest thing I've ever written

Post by CBK » Sat May 26, 2012 3:21 am

wow shit dude thats a big piece ive read halfway through an feel that to pass judgement now would be unfair.. im in work at seven but i will leave feed .. i give my word. its dope so far...

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NeverOddOrEven
The Prophet of Poetry
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Re: Father Time (Probably the dopest thing I've ever written

Post by NeverOddOrEven » Sat May 26, 2012 5:01 am

Thanks for checkin' it out. Uppin for more feed, I put a lot of work into this one. Leave a link for any battle, beat, written, song, etc. and I will return the feed.

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PeyotePearl
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Posts: 41
Joined: Sun May 13, 2012 7:16 am
Re: Father Time (Probably the dopest thing I've ever written

Post by PeyotePearl » Sat May 26, 2012 5:03 am

I like this the rhymes are well placed as well as the syllables and the lyrics are deep. Good shit.
Also I know you left feed on my other track but here's another I think it's slightly better.

[soundcloud]http://soundcloud.com/peyotepearl/forev ... ays-peyote[/soundcloud]
Image

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NeverOddOrEven
The Prophet of Poetry
Posts: 96
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 6:20 am
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Re: Father Time (Probably the dopest thing I've ever written

Post by NeverOddOrEven » Sat May 26, 2012 5:13 am

Yea you're right, I like the topic and your flow is better and you got the quickness goin on. Rhymes are cool, too. But all my feedback from the other drop still applies. Like I said, you definitely got real potential so don't give up on this shit. But if you want feed on your tracks or other posts, send me the links in a personal message cuz I don't want too much attention brought to your work on my posts.

To everyone else: Uppin for feed on this written

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MonuMental
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Re: Father Time (Probably the dopest thing I've ever written

Post by MonuMental » Sat May 26, 2012 5:52 am

Yo man, this piece was well thought out and written, it was fantastic in a thought provoking sense, and I feel you entirely on most of the content, your multies snapped whenever you threw them in the mix, and you dropped a lot of legitimate names from history and current times. I thought this piece was absolute fire, as far as the flow goes when spitting it, it's probably one of those thigns the author would have to do for me to fully be able to follow it. I enjoyed this read, man, and I wanna give you your props and respect for it. Stay up, bruh.

-- Fri May 25, 2012 1:53 pm --

[center]Peel back the facade and behold a bold insanity,
With no repose or vanity, composed of inhumanity.[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Image[/center]
[center]Illest Awards For 2011:
Text MC of the Year- MonuMental
Class of 2011- MonuMental, Enlightend, 3rd String, CBK, and Pest
Writer of the Year- MonuMental
Written of the Year- MonuMental 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'[/center]

[center]a-series-of-unfortunate-events-vt23866.html[/center]


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